Shades of Cairo

Things I Find Overrated – Part 1

2012-01-08T06:25:00.007+02:00

Cupcakes in Cairo

The Cupcake storm doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon. Anyone who owns a spatula and an oven thinks they can become cupcake masters. Newsflash: baking can be more than your average cupcakes.

For now, we have several cupcake options that have turned into well-known brands. And at the end of the day, I really think cupcake brands are highly overrated. Yes, they’re delicious and are a perfect sugary treat to make up for a bad day. But do I really need to be eating cupcakes this much?

I might get hate e-mails for this but let’s take a look at Nola for example, the top cupcake brand in Cairo with its own store in Zamalek. I’ve tried Nola several times and I must say her efforts to build a creative store like that and a successful business should not go unnoticed. Some of Nola’s other flavours are delicious. The peanut butter cupcake, which I like to call the 'calorie bomb' is a must-try. As well as the Oreo one and Apple. The rather over-priced cupcakes should be tried at least once. Just for curiosity. But some of Nola's best-selling flavours aren’t that… yummy. I’m a huge fan of anything that has the words ‘red velvet’ in it but is it just me who thinks the cream-cheese frosting on Nola’s Red Velvet tastes nothing like cream cheese? It tastes rather ‘eggy’ or zifer if you catch my drift. I’m not an expert on baking but I’ve baked my share of cakes and brownies (and ate more home-made cakes than I should have) to know what frosting should taste like.

Which is such a shame. It's my favourite flavour. Then again, Nola did save me extra calories.

Tivoli Dome

I usually love Tivoli in the mornings. Weekday mornings that is when all you meet are couple of college students and trendy mothers and be sure of not running into your friendly-neighborhood douche!

I feel I'm getting old. My radar for tween hipsters is too high for me to be at a place like this.

While Tivoli has many options to dine and enjoy a good laugh with friends, the fact that they're solely interested in raising the average minimum for customers is a major turn off. Why would I pay 75LE at Coffee Bean or Coffee Shop Company for coffee? Yes lounging by the river is fun, the view from Chilli's terrace is beautiful but parking is a disaster, crowds are intolerable, especially if they're 12-year curly haired girls screaming at every hello they get. Okay, I'm rambling. I am getting old.

Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf's Coffee

There are several options for coffee in Zamalek. (Yet how there is not one SINGLE Starbucks is beyond me.) I was a bit pleased when Coffee Bean opened a new branch right across the street from my office. I later regretted that when I tried their coffee. For a whole month I've been drinking it just to get the morning buzz. Then I realised it was pointless. Too strong and utterly bitter, not to mention the value does not weigh in the quality whatsoever. I might as well walk the two blocks to Cilantro to get decent coffee. And yes, I do enjoy Cilantro's coffee.

For me, Coffee Bean now remains the place to go to get Red Velvet Cakes. Which are not available in Zamalek. Thankfully for my protruding behind.

Being in Cairo for too long, these are not the only things that are overrated. I'm sure several other things will join the list soon.

Grizzly's Hefty Portions!

2011-12-28T18:18:00.004+02:00

There are days when I feel like a tourist in my own city. With regards to the fact that I reside in Heliopolis, used to work in Heliopolis and only met friends in Heliopolis, suddenly being thrown into a cultural hub such as Zamalek is both a blessing and a curse. There’s no denying that driving is no fun. But the endless dining and artistic outlets surely make up for it. Add that to my overbearing curiosity and spirit of exploring new places, a move to Zamalek might be in the works! (If I could ever afford it!)

One place I have been to several times was the Grizzly Diner, it’s my go-to lunch spot when I’m in the mood for a delicious burger and catching up with good friends. Situated on the famous Aboul Feda St. by the Nile, Grizzly includes an outdoor seating with red booths stacked up against the Nile and a higher, all-glass panoramic indoor one. While Grizzly prides itself in being a diner, I felt rather disappointed in the restaurant atmosphere. Upon hearing the word “diner” I instantly figured it would take the form of a real American diner. The only “American” aspect about Grizzly was the delicious food options with a menu ranging from sandwiches, pastas, salads, steak and burgers. Warning: you might get a little lost in the menu.

Not every visit to Grizzly is the same. The first time stood out the most. The diner had just opened and you could tell they paid extra attention to the quality of food. With more and more visits I noticed not a decrease in how everything tasted but it was simply different.

As a rule, you can never have an appetizer before your main course. Grizzly is extremely generous with their portions so unless you’re dining with a large group of people, start with the main course right away.

The Chicken Strips (more like several pieces of large fried chicken, not strips) came in a medium-sized metal bucket with marinara sauce. While the combo platter featuring onion rings, mozzarella sticks, fried mushrooms and chicken strips with blue cheese dip is ideal for a large group. As a huge burger enthusiast, I must admit that I’m not pleased very easily. However, the burgers, which can come in home-grown meat or Australian Angus (which isn’t always available), stole my heart for the night. The BBQ burger with sour-dough bread and its own bucket of wedges was undeniably scrumptious and filling. Only on the first visit did they nail the sour-dough bread. Later on, it was just your average burger bun. The Juicy-Lucy burger stuffed with American cheese is to die for. Just make sure the cheese didn’t melt away from the patty as it has with me one time.

After a meal like this, there is no room for dessert obviously but if you have the stomach for it, Milkshakes, Apple Pies and Brownies are sure enough to get your mouth watering.

One thing that makes Grizzly stand out from the rest of its competitors is their affordable prices. Having lunch or dinner for two including main course, appetizer and drinks can be in the 100-ish LE range. Another perk that comes from Grizzly is their appetizing breakfast menu. Zamalek residents will surely enjoy sinking their teeth into a freshly made stack of panckakes or waffles. However, the burgers are what put Grizzly on the map!

The Unbearable Calmness of Cairo

2011-10-10T22:47:00.001+02:00

There’s no need to comment on yesterday. We are all thinking the same thing and feeling almost defeated, indignant or numb.

On Sunday, October 9^th, I had a photoshoot after work in Mohandiseen for the magazine. Before we started shooting, our attention was diverted to the TV screen. Cars were burning, people were running everywhere downtown, and the army was advancing. I blinked. I froze. Was this January 28^th all over again?

After a few minutes of recollecting what day it was and what was actually happening, I started to worry about hundreds of things at once. From heavy ponderings like what will this mean for Egypt’s future? Will people die? (and we already know the answer to that) to little troubles of how will I get myself home. I left my car in Zamalek where the office is as all of the roads heading to Heliopolis were either closed or dangerous to pass through. And so I waited in Mohandiseen for two hours for someone to pick me up, glued to the TV screen as I watch each and every channel tell a different tale of the horrible night. My phone never stopped ringing, worried family members pressured me to find a different route to get home or look for a friend nearby to stay with.

Constant panic was inevitable as Cairo sits on a time-bomb; you never know when things will erupt and lose control.

I was shaken by the time I got home, relieved at arriving safely and eager for news on the situation downtown. But I couldn’t open my TV or check updates online. Instead, I went to sleep and gave into the numbness. It’s sad when you’re used to chaos that it doesn’t shock you anymore and you end up in denial over what went wrong.

I woke up in the middle of the night panic-stricken and couldn’t sleep for two hours after that. I was lying in bed, checking updates on Twitter from people on the scene. It was uglier than before I slept.

The next day, on my way to work with a friend, we noticed the empty streets. People were obviously too scared to cross the Nile. What was once a crowded street every morning is now occupied by a handful of cars.

I continued to be in ‘zoned-out’ for the rest of the day. The show must go on, they say.

As I got into my car, I realized it’s been 24 hours since I’ve driven yet it seemed like a week. I drove myself home wondering which route I should take to avoid potential chaos. But I didn’t need to change routes. I drove through my usual Downtown route. But nothing was ‘usual’ about downtown. Once a bustling area full of life is now deserted. Roads were almost empty during what is known as the mother of all rush hours. Only a handful of people were walking about.

An ominous feeling filled my insides. The calmness was very disturbing. The city seemed broken.

The Long Road of Communication

2011-03-19T23:25:00.001+02:00

One thing I realized ever since this revolution has started was how people, unfortunately, don’t accept someone else’s opposed opinions. For one thing, I doubt we should be surprised. Taking a look back to the never-ending battle between Ahlawia and Zamalkawia, they always end up in brawls over trivial things. And if we obviously lack sportsmanship, how in the world would we ever understand tolerance?

I recall when we first got our internet back after it was cut off for almost a week and how Facebook ended up becoming a Newsfeed of verbal wars and debates over who is with the revolution and who isn’t. Egyptians have fallen into sides as usual and instead of accepting everyone’s own opinion, they verbally attack them right until they convince them with their own. I’m sorry, but what has this revolution been advocating for from the beginning? Democracy, is it not?

I avoided Facebook and Twitter for a few days, but it was hard escaping the mounds of debates whether on BBM, emails or phonecalls…and worse, Egyptian TV. “It was either you were with the revolutionary Egyptians and call others ignorant and passive or you are against them and bash them offensively for ruining this country.” And I still ask myself why it has to be so extreme.

Call me crazy, but I never believed in Black and White… Always believed there was GRAY.

I would say that what happened during those 18 days weren’t the case now and we’re on a different road, but I’m afraid to say that we are not. For the past week, all I’ve heard was either a yes or no for the constitutional amendments and if you’re voting a yes then you’ve got to be out of your mind and if you’re voting a no, then you’re crazy to encourage this chaos. People tried convincing each other with their point of views, sometimes forcibly I might add. Some made fun of those who will say yes because they are ignorant and others made fun of those who will say no because….well for any other reason a “chaotic” person is responsible for. It’s shameful.

I voted no but I personally respect anyone who said yes. But honestly, as long as it was for valid reasons and that they were truly convinced with the amended articles in the constitution. I respect that because it’s THEIR choice. And isn’t this what democracy is all about. However, I honestly had a problem with those choosing yes because they were trying to achieve so called stability and were trying to rush (yengezo) in the political history of Egypt. Only in this case is where I think we should spread awareness among them, about how democracy takes time and the road to stability won’t be achieved in a day with a magical “yes”, but not force them into saying a “no” just because YOU, personally, think it’s the right decision. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy debate between opposed sides. But you must remember the key word “healthy”. A person should listen carefully, accept the opponent’s side and reasons, offer other opposed reasons, if the person was not convinced then aggression is never the answer. I feel that we should have used our energy more for the simple Egyptians out there who weren’t really aware of what they will vote, and not your friends on Facebook and Twitter.

Practice the art of dialogue and communication because honestly, I don’t see us practicing an inch of democracy. “Democracy means various opinions,” you might say. But that doesn’t mean creating verbal wars and sickening debates because of those various opinions is the way to practice them.

Call me a new-age hippy, but I believe we will only get there when we practice communication skills, something we unfortunately lack.

The only reason I’m writing this is because, I feel a yes will win. And as the votes are currently being counted, I cannot imagine what the Egyptian people’s reaction will be. This the first time this amount of Egyptians head out to vote and a tad of emotions are seriously involved. I have heard several times from certain Egyptians and figures who have voted no, that if a yes wins, they will head out to Tahrir Square again and protest. I know I might be losing some people when saying this but; I don’t think this what we should do at the moment. This isn’t a reason to protest because in a democratic world, your own opinion might not win all the time because there’s a little thing called majority. Yes, we’ve heard of several fraud cases and attacks throughout the day and yes we think it may have been tampered with by paying certain people or forcing them and so on, but…I doubt any part of the world has 100% free and untampered elections. Maybe we should focus on fixing THAT instead of protesting over who won what. “We can’t possibly run out every time a majority wins that is not in your favor and protest,” said Dr. Amr Hamzawy in a seminar two days before voting. “These are the first steps of democracy; accepting the majority.” And I couldn’t agree more and this is what we should be practicing. Listening, accepting and practicing it even more.

We still have a long road to go until we reach that level of communication that truly fits in a democratic world. I’m not sure when we will get there but I do know this: Today was a big step for Egyptians. And no matter what the results are, we should bask in the fact that we are finally getting the right to vote, to choose and to write our own history.

Today I Voted

2011-03-19T11:36:00.001+02:00

Today marked another day in Egyptian history....

As any average Egyptian, I rarely ever exercised my right to vote. Simply because I was never allowed this right and voting in Egypt was a big and predictable circus. I didn’t feel the need to vote, the decision was already made for me by higher authority dictators. Why bother, I thought… just like every other Egyptian who has succumbed to passiveness.

But today, we all managed to dust that endless apathy off our shoulders, head to out to the nearest voting center and give our voice freely for the first time in history. In spite of claims and facts that some centers have been tampered with, I still find that Egyptians heading out to vote and standing in incredibly long lines patient is rewarding enough. A sense of pride overcame us all.

I headed out today with my brother at 8am not knowing what to expect. Men and women stood out in LONG queues waiting to go in and armed with a pen, their ID and a camera phone to take photos of themselves on this unique day. I stood between two women in burqas and two non-veiled women. “I never felt the need to vote before,” one woman said to her friend. “I always figured our voice wasn’t heard and the NDP always gets their way,” she continued.

“Long live Egyptian youth,” an elderly man said as he was walking by to join the men’s queue. TV stations were conducting random mini-interviews and people walked out showing off their inked finger happily.

I went into the school in Heliopolis where voting was held, the classroom was divided into several stations; one man writing down your ID number and name and you sign next to it as another woman gives you the ballot to vote. I voted “No” on constitutional amendments, inked my finger and headed out a proud Egyptian.

I joined my brother as he waited for his turn while a black Mercedes pulled up and came out Sheikh El Azhar, Ahmed El Tayeb. TV cameras swarm around him for interviews; people snapped away photos as they asked him what he will for? “I believe it’s a person’s right to vote for whatever they want without announcing it,” he said. But what I found truly hilarious was how a couple of young Egyptian men told him respectfully as he was going in to set an example and join the lines like the rest of the people.

The new Egypt has admirable guts!

Here’s to a new Egypt where we get to choose!

Today, I'm an Egyptian voter!

euphoria magazine: Long Live Egypt

2011-03-06T15:43:00.004+02:00

euphoria magazine's Long Live Egypt issue out Feb/March 2011.
Proudest cover and proudest issue I have worked on.
(Cover Photo By: Sherif Assaf)

A Pre-Revolution Cairo: There's No Turning Back

2011-02-25T23:26:00.000+02:00

Today marks the one month anniversary of the 25 January Egyptian Revolution. It's been one hell of a start to 2011 and one hell of a rollercoaster ride this month. It's been 30 days since we embarked on history making, 18 days of them were at a complete standstill in order to achieve our freedom and now, Egypt is at a new and different stage. But to some, it's pretty much the same with minor differences.

Throughout those 18 days, all I've heard from some people is that they want to get back to their "normal" lives. I get it. If it were up to them, they wouldn't want to be stuck at home for three weeks because of the revolution. If it were up to them, they wouldn't spend their days glued to the TV watching the news or towering over their laptops reading updates. If it were up to them, they wouldn't spend their nights protecting streets in neighborhood militias with knives and makeshift barricades. If it were up to them, they would remain in their comfort zone, with the "normal" we all know. But what struck me as odd was how some Egyptians were willing to give up a possibility of change, a possibility of freedom and a possibility of a better Egypt just for a sense of security and a familiar Egypt.

This Revolution has taken a toll on all of us, personally, financially, emotionally and physically. And once things started to calm down, many were trying to breathe.

I personally haven't done anything in those three weeks except for being completely focused on the revolution and its happenings. It was some sort of guilt that has taken over me. I thought that if I can't be in Tahrir everyday or help out more due to any reason, then I might as well not try to get back to my normal life out of respect. It felt like the most natural thing to do. (besides the fact that I really didn't have time or energy for it, following updates per the second usually took up most of my time, and I'm sure most of other's people's times as we didn't want to miss out on anything.) I didn't feel it was right to go have "breakfast at Tivoli" or go and "get my nails done." Some managed perfectly fine. While others didn't.

Only when ex-president Mubarak stepped down that I went out the next day to celebrate our new found freedom. As I sat at an over-crowded Heliopolis Café with a few close friends, and among other people who are glad to see the street, it was hard believing that only the day before we were still focused on Tahrir square. And that thought has been following me every time I happen to get back in touch with my social life. Did those 18 days actually happen? How are we bouncing back this quick? It feels out of place as I look out as I see people eagerly wanting any remnants of their pre-revolution life.

Maybe it was just me? I somehow felt that "normal" life we all had, or whatever you want to label it, was long gone by now. Pre-revolution Cairo seemed so different now. It wasn't tainted with innocent blood, deafening chants, army tanks and thugs. Then again, it did have its unfortunate fair share of corruption. Now, we are all back to our jobs, some fear getting laid off, some already have been laid off. Now, we go out to Tivoli or whatever afternoon hang out you have before the Military curfew. Now, we try to live our lives again. But, pre-revolution Cairo seems so far away now. And I doubt we can ever get back to that. Actually, I don't even think it's healthy to get back to it completely.

In my humble opinion, I don't think we should want to "go back to being normal". This "normal" Cairo doesn't seem to exist anymore. The revolution is for change; hence change must be commenced, even if through your own personal life. We can't go back after all of this. We can't go back when so much effort has been exerted, even if you didn't want this to happen. A fresh new opportunity has been presented to you, take advantage of it. Now is the time to work for a better Egypt. Not in a sense that you should go out and protest for your rights, no. Go out and become a better Egyptian. By being just one positive and hopeful person, you will make those around positive and hopeful and thus it will spread more. Help your neighborhood, donate blood, and help those who are dependent on daily wages and so on. Become politically aware so you would understand what your country is going through. And above all, move forward and not backwards. Embrace this coming period for you will remember it forever, but by building it with your own hands, you will cherish it even more.

Fear Has Been Defeated

2011-02-25T13:11:00.001+02:00

Written for euphoria magazine

"Fear has been defeated…There's no turning back," CNN's Anderson Cooper said in one of the most touching reports about the Egyptian Revolution. And I must say, I can't get this specific quote out of my head. As I watched the revolution prevail, the determination of Egyptians to topple the regime, the courage to finally speak out, I was in awe.

I'm still in disbelief that my generation witnessed one of the greatest revolutions in history. You would think that revolutions only exist in history books, not the present nor the near future. But it did. And it happened. And it's certainly something worth living for. I personally thought Egyptians would die in their own negativity and apathy. I thought the corruption Egypt was facing would just get worse and there was no way of speaking up. When I got the invite to the January 25^th protests, I handled it with disregard (one of my biggest regrets). I honestly thought that the usual 50 Egyptian activists would show up and that's it. I hoped it would be more and I apologize for not believing in it early on. That's when I saw every Egyptian, no matter gender, age or religion, walk in organized marches and protest peacefully. It's actually happening, I thought, and I needed to be a part of this. I'm not an activist…I'm Egyptian, and this was the people's revolution.

In a way, I think that we all needed this revolution. Not just to topple the regime, but to get back in touch with our nationality and patriotism. How many times have you heard a person curse this country and denounce their nationality? Tons! But now, I think we're embarking on a new era for Egyptians. We can't go back to saying that Egypt lacked real men anymore. Those men (and women) were out fighting for freedom. They lost their lives so others could have a better tomorrow. They stayed up nights protecting their streets and homes in efficient and almost militia-like neighborhood watches. They helped clean the streets and paint it with their bare hands. Those Egyptians cared about their country and its future, and this just fills me with pride.

"I never needed a revolution to be a proud Egyptian," a friend of mine said and I have to agree. I was never one of those who despised being Egyptian; I took pride in it. I may have lowered my voice once or twice when admitting this, afraid of ridicule. But now, there's no need to and there's nothing wrong with regaining your own self-worth as an Egyptian. Because now, we are respected world-wide, and now, we are heard. Our determination is something not to be taken lightly, and I think we all proved it. Our courage is something that should never be forgotten because when the going gets rough, we know we can count on one another. And our humor is something that should be cherished because you could never find that much humor during dark times like these unless the jokes were cracked by Egyptians. And that should give everyone hope and strong faith that the Egyptian people will build a better Egypt.

The revolution isn't over just yet. There's a long road ahead of us and being caught in celebrations won't justify the 18 days of unrest. Use your new found pride and determination in rebuilding a better Egypt. Use your hope in believing tomorrow will be a better day. Don't sit back now and think we've won. There's no turning back. All we focus on is moving forward.

Fear has been defeated. The Egyptians have regained their voice in expressing their needs; they have regained their dignity world-wide. We have proven that we're not weak or cowards or lazy. And on January 25^th, Egyptians have woken up and risen out of their apathetic slumber. Stand tall, Egyptians, for tomorrow is ours!

Revolution Diaries: Egypt is FREE

2011-02-15T00:41:00.000+02:00

Egypt is Free…

Sort of that is.

And those are my first words here as a new era began in Egypt.

I originally planned to write a day-by-day chronicle. And I did. But I didn't post it here. The days were too slow and too eventful simultaneously. Nights were stricken with insomnia while days were filled with news reports and articles. The whole world was focused on us and life, as we know it, went to a complete stop. Over the next few days, I might post a few of my own thoughts and opinions about the January 25^th Egyptian Revolution. Things I have written and would like to share now since Egypt is starting a new era. I don't think it's late. I think it's the perfect timing. As we celebrated those past two days, we still need to remember the details of this revolution. We need to engrave it forever in our memory and we need to use how much it changed us to build a better future. Our New Egypt started with this:

Thursday, 10.2.2011

Egyptians believed that Mubarak will be making a speech and will finally step down. The crowds that were protesting in Tahrir Square everyday were already celebrating and oh how I wished they weren't. Those 18 days witnessed so many rumors and false facts that it was hard believing which was right and which was wrong. I felt celebrating was too early, but we were hoping and already felt triumphant. That is…until President Mubarak came out and gave his last speech (unbeknownst to us) that would cause outrage world-wide and ultimate fury among us, Egyptians. Mubarak didn't step down and had no intentions to. In spite of Army talks, Foreign affairs intruding and the obvious demands of Egyptians, he was holding on with his hands and teeth. The speech was ironic, patronizing and simply a compilations of his last two speeches during the revolution. He gave out promises of punishing those in charge of the mass-destruction caused in Egypt's shops, malls, Police Stations and so much more and those who murdered hundreds of innocent protests. He apologized for the families of martyrs in less than a minute and talked about himself and his legacy for almost 10 minutes, as if reminding his own people of the many achievements he has done over these 30 years. Reminding them of who was responsible for this and that they shouldn't be ungrateful. While I personally think the first 15 years of his presidency might have gone through improvements throughout Egypt, his last 15 years was nothing but a corrupted regime. I don't even need to explain, evidence is far greater.

The minute the speech ended, roars all over Cairo could be heard miles away. People had enough and were taking matters into their own hands. Some walked to the Presidential Palace, others remained camped outside People's Assembly and many remained in Tahrir, planning for the most talked about Friday. That day, you thought Friday the 11^th would've been a blood bath. Instead, it was a day of celebration.

11.2.2011

Remember this date

President Hosni Mubarak stepped down after a 30-year rule. On Friday evening, at 6PM to be exact, all of that didn't matter. What mattered the most is that after 18 days of protests, strikes, demonstrations, blood, tears and chants, Mubarak put his stubbornness (or was forced to) aside and finally gave the people what they wanted. Vice President Omar Sulaiman gave the announcement rather glumly in only two minutes: the President was stepping down and gave the rule to the Military. A euphoric bomb exploded on the streets of Cairo. People screaming "Allah Akbar", women's "zaghareet" were endless and strangers were running and hugging each other in the streets. That night, it was THE ultimate Egyptian party. Location; Tahrir Square, Heliopolis near the Presidential Palace and basically any main street. The celebrations was ecstatic, shocking and just plain beautiful. It was like we had won the African Cup of Nations in soccer. And I always disliked uniting over soccer. But this time, it was for something much more meaningful. The roars from the night before turned into deafening cheers; flags were raised proudly and people were singing national songs. Egypt was ONE big festive party. Although his departure was only one of the demands, it didn't matter. This night was for celebration, tomorrow we can all work again on the demands. Tomorrow is a new day…a free day.

The moment I heard the good news, I felt as if a brick fell in the pit of my stomach. Emotions ran high as I sat shocked in my living room with people's exuberant chants in the background. It finally happened, I thought to myself. And I wasn't sure if I'm supposed to be instantly glad or fearfully worried over what's next for Egypt? I felt sorry for the way he left and at the same time I was so relieved that it finally happened. We couldn't take six more months of this type of corruption. But what's next? I was in shock. But…that didn't stop me from celebrating. The shock was overcome by excitement of being free. The thought of having FREE elections one day was simply uplifting. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is ours.

President Obama made a speech as well that day and I have to say, the writer of that speech needs to teach a thing or two to the one who wrote Mubarak's last. It was influential and aspiring. "Today belongs to the Egyptians," he said. And he went on about how peaceful our protests were, how religion, age and gender intertwined and about how we, as Egyptians, inspire the world with our determination.

That day, we, Egyptians, regained our voice, our dignity and our freedom. We walk to tomorrow with our head up high, confident that we will handle everything that comes our way. We regained world-wide respect and recognition but most importantly, we regained our own pride and patriotism, some things that was buried along the dust of our existence.

12.2.2011

I woke up with a smile on my face. Haven't done that in a long time, in spite of sleeping at the early hours in the morning as I was watching how Egyptians celebrated the remainder of the night. Every Egyptian that morning woke up and smelled FREEDOM. It felt as if you have been unchained of all the worry and stress and troubles and walk the street feeling unusually safe. I walked through my streets in the early hours of the morning and literally took a breath of fresh air. I was elated with joy as a I started my new day with Shadia's "Ya Habibty Ya Masr" was playing loudly from a parked car.

First thing I did was buy the newspapers. Al Ahram of course was on the top of my list. And even though I rarely ever buy it because of its hypocrisy and its attempt to ride the wave of the revolution now since the President and the government it was supporting is long gone by now, it didn't matter now. What mattered is what was on the front page in large fonts "Al Sha3b Askat El Nezam" (The people got rid of the regime). Al Masry Al Youm, however, had the photos of the revolution martyrs and a photo of the Tahrir celebrations with the tag line "Al Sha3b Arad wa askat el nezam" (The people wanted and got rid of the regime). I didn't care who was hypocritical before or who wasn't pro-revolution. We were somewhat united now. And those two very different newspapers needed to be framed or lamented and kept for the future. Maybe someday I will show them to my kids as they study about the 2011 revolution, the revolution of my generation. As I sat in my car starting at both front pages, I was proud. And as cheesy as this may sound, I was overcome with such pride and joy that I cried.

We did it.

Tomorrow is ours.

When Life Imitates Art...

2010-12-12T16:31:00.000+02:00

I have been watching the series Aiza Atgowez for quite some time now. I haven’t even finished it yet but it's hard now not noticing the many things the series and the book talk about. Although I am an Egyptian girl going through the same things and I am supposed to be the right age for marriage (even way past it according to my mother) but the many situations that pushes us to become eager and hungry to be brides have multiplied!

On one fine and rather windy day, three of my best friends from high school and I decided to get together over snacks by the pool under the withering sun. One of them was rather quiet the entire day, that is until she exploded into a fit of tears claiming that she will soon become a spinster! Being dumbstruck, we had no words as we listened to her antics about the many suitors she has met, the ones she had turned down a couple of years ago and if now they are getting less and less. Her married colleagues who have kept a distance just because she's a "single girl". The older women she meets who always stare at her ring finger and then console her for not being wed yet, those who pat her on the back so condescendingly, reassuring her that one day she will find a worthy husband. That she doesn't need to worry at all and everything will be fine. That she shouldn't fear a fate of spinsterhood and have hope...

As I listened to her, I felt my brain spasm for two seconds. Was I watching another episode of Aiza Atgowez? Have I stumbled into one of the episodes or was everyone deeply affected by the book and the series that they started analyzing their own love life? Or was art simply influenced by life? There was a thin line between reality and art for two major seconds. We weren't dumbstruck because we thought she was overreacting, we were dumbstruck because we never thought she should overreact because it's a universal thing (more like an Egyptian thing). My friend is you, your girlfriend and your colleague! The many times that you have thought about one day finding a husband are endless, they sometimes even end up as private thoughts and we sometimes can't help it. "A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment." – Jane Austin in Pride and Prejudice.

I always thought that Jane Austin novels represent Egypt today. The constant obsession with finding a husband and parents pushing you to look for one, as if that's what the entire world can provide us at the moment. Yet pointing it out as if it’s some sort of disease or flaw in our womanhood won't do the "husband searching" any better. When you tell someone you have a problem when they don't even acknowledge it a problem, it will eventually manifest into a major issue taking over their entire thoughts and life. Our deep need to become brides isn't because we want to, no, it's because society tells us to. As long as we have the older generation feeding us this need to obsess over when it will happen, then we will always fear spinsterhood, something that might not even happen.

This Too Shall Pass

2010-10-31T16:29:00.000+02:00

"Don't be upset. Be happy!!" a friend of mine suddenly shrieked. I had told her about a couple of problems that I was facing and this was her response.

How can a person "be happy"? Is it a switch that a person can simply turn on? Because I would like to know! And why am I not allowed a few moments of sheer depression?

I find it funny when people feel the need to help you when you say that you are down (hey, I'm not saying that I myself don't do it.) But at some point, a person would only want to be down, live through this problem, vent and be angry until it all blows over. At some point, I do not want to look on the bright side (a shocker to those who really know me). At some point, I sometimes give in to my depressive nature. So why would I want to forget my troubles, come on and be happy?

Throughout my entire life, I have noticed that giving advice is way easier than taking it. And I've also realized that the advice I give is never followed by yours truly. It reaches a point where you find out that it's easier to jabber about some hocus pocus advice to help a friend or a person in need. But, come the situation of following it yourself, you deem it unnecessary.

"All of these problems you have are illusions," my parents say when I complain about something. And that's the elder version of advice giving. You shouldn't be upset, they say. You have a roof over your head, a great job, great friends and you're healthy. Why on earth do you feel down? They ask. And I can't help but wonder; has being sulky become an emotion not worth having? If you're having a bad day, do I move on and smile and pretend as if nothing is going wrong? I'm sorry; tell me again, do we live in Robot Land or Pleasantville?

This month has been a low point; simply the worst. And after a recent incident, my father tells me, like two seconds later, that I should move on and get on with my life. Dad, it's been five minutes, I say. Yes I know, he says, which is why I'm cheering you up. I have to hand it to him since he's the first to "cheer me up". The second was my mother, like two hours later. I told you so, she says. If you had listened to me then you wouldn't have been in this situation. Mom, thanks dear, but I'm not into lecturing at the moment. Fine, she says, but you don't need to be down, we've all been there and we all got through it, big deal. I have a hard time fathoming the idea that they thought it was okay to cheer me up after only a couple of hours. Who said I want it to blow over when it's still fresh?

So, since my parents obviously forgot what it's like to be in your twenties, I called my sister. Maybe she would have something comforting to say. Right now, it feels like the end of the world, she says. And I agree, finally I find someone who gets it. But it's not the end of the world, she continues; it will get better, trust me. How will it get better? It doesn't feel like it anytime soon. It will, don't worry, she says. Go and watch something funny to get your mind off of stuff. And I've been injecting myself with re-runs of How I Met Your Mother ever since. Wasn't really helping. And then I finally head off to my friends who in return either make me spiteful or bitter, and yet they support. There are those who really do understand and give me freedom to talk and vent without weird advice, and those who talk about their own problems neglecting your own. You'll find the entire mix.

What do I do? I don't listen. I don't look at the bright side and ride that depression wave until it's over.

Maybe I do like to wallow in despair.

A Naive Déjà Vu

2010-09-23T14:01:00.006+03:00

One day, I was getting into my car while talking on the phone. Two women came, and stood outside of my closed window wanting to talk to me. Ignoring them, thinking they were beggars, and continued on with my phone call, but they still waited unlike the rest who usually just go away after the first time you ignore. I opened the window slightly thinking they just needed some help with something because they didn't look like they needed money although clearly belonging to a lower middle class. One of them went on this rant claiming that she is a maid, newly appointed at some house in Heliopolis and she has to get to Ramsis station to go back to her home outside Cairo. She apologized for asking me because she was too afraid to ask a man in the street and wanted to know exactly how to get there by riding which method of transportation. I tell her the many ways of getting there and as I close the window and start driving, she asks me again if there's a cheaper way of getting there and her eyes tear up. At one point, she hysterically asks if she can walk all the way to the station instead of getting on a bus because the house she works for didn't pay her yet. I knew where this conversation was going and it was confusing; is she a sophisticated beggar or pulling off a con or her tears were actually very genuine and she really was new to the area and didn't know how to leave. So I gave her some money, she didn't take it at first but then she was grateful. She then became reserved all of a sudden and whispered with silent tears that she would need more because of her friend and that the train tickets are expensive. I gave her more, all of the change I had. It wasn't much. And then I drove away, she raised her hands to the heavens and prayed.

I was conned… or was I?

The idea here isn't that I'm naive (even though I treated this situation with utmost naivety). The idea is that I had the choice of believing she was either an immature con artist or even a smart beggar or I had the choice of believing that she really did in fact need the money. I usually follow my poor naive gut and really did believe she needed the money with a hint of disbelief that I'm fooling myself. I believed that I should always see the good in people; I believed that it's easier to move on with your life if you make that tiny pure spot inside of them appear much bigger than it already is. It's not deceiving oneself; it's focusing on the good.

"You're fooling yourself" I was told by many. But what happened, already happened. Maybe she really did deserve it, it was several pounds after all, or maybe I needed to wake up and don't believe people too gullibly.

I needed to wake up. I knew it this time because at the end of the day it didn't feel right. If I believed a couple of beggars, what would stop me from believing news programs with falsities, acquaintances with a hidden agenda and so many others?

A few months later, I was getting in my car and two women approached me. One of them went on ranting, getting her tears ready, about how she needs to get to Ramsis station and was asking about how she should get there…

A New Housewife on Wisteria Lane!

2010-09-22T21:51:00.000+03:00

I think that I'm probably the only one watching Desperate Housewives till now. I have actually been watching it since season 1. Well not technically, no. At first I thought it would be another modern replica of Sex and the City. But I've come to love the drama on Wisteria Lane involving our five (now four excluding Edie) housewives. Throughout several of the seasons I felt that it went rather too dramatic or too boring to watch, but maybe out of my own boring nights I continued and damn did it get good!

I was used to all the characters by now and very interested with the how characters and their lives are evolved. Until I managed to watch it for the past six years!

This season however, there will be a new housewife and it's not to be missed!

Vanessa Williams joins the cast as the new housewife on Wisteria Lane and I couldn't have been more excited! After Williams has shown her vindictive, divalicious and simply fabulous side on Ugly Betty for three years playing Wilhelmina, she has now landed (thankfully after the show's cancellation) to Wisteria Lane to spread more of her irresistible charm. Apparently, she will be playing "a wicked new housewife, who is sure to shake things up in the neighborhood and wreak havoc in the lives of the women of Wisteria Lane"

It might not be as great as Wilhelmina but I do hope they make her a regular, or even take the missing part ever since Edie left. It's a superb choice; she will add flavor to the series and as you can see from the Season 7 promo, it's going to be an exciting season!

Can't wait!

Book Discusses Egyptian Relationships

2010-09-02T12:23:00.001+02:00

Published in euphoria magazine June 2010

It takes courage to write a book but it takes boldness to include the word "shit" in the title. Cracking the Code of the Egyptian RelationSHIT is the newest relationship self-help book to be added to the already dozens books of self-help section. But this time, you're not trying to associate the westernized self-help rules to your Middle Eastern ones; it's already associated for you by Imz Khattab.

According to its cover, Cracking the Code of the Egyptian RelationSHIT aims at giving an insight into the complicated world of marriage and dating in the confusing Egyptian Society. The book is divided into three parts. The first part tackles 10 male characters you should avoid in the dating world. Imz starts out first analytically describing the unhealthy signs of being in a relationship with that male character, how to notice the danger signs beforehand and how to avoid him altogether. She also states possible psychological and scientific reasons to why he's actually like this. In that part, you get introduced to the infamous "Year Waster", the endless "Criticizer", the mommy's boy or the "man in diapers", the deceiving "double faced man", the "serial screwer" and many more.
The second part is directed to the 10 female characters you should not behave like in a relationship, labeling them "The 10 Female Sinners". Imz displays those character traits that you just hate about your female fellows or the ones that you actually might have and not even know it. She starts out analyzing why a woman is like that to begin with, and then she gives us a little insight to how a man perceives your behavior and ends it with advice on what type of guy you should really be with. In this part of the book you'll meet the "Abuse Addict" who just loves her man to give her a piece of his mind all the time, the "Intolerably Independent" who is far from approachable, the self-explanatory "Absolute Air head" and the "Delirious Drama Queen" as to many other characters.
Lastly, the final part of the book is the "Cheat Sheet" where Imz gives her personal dating tips that you should abide by if you want that healthy and long-lasting relationship you dream of.

Cracking the Code of the Egyptian RelationSHIT is mainly directed to women to find Mr. Right. Based on extensive research done by Imz, she presented many non-fictional cases and situations between real Egyptian couples to guide the Egyptian woman on getting the guy and keeping him. But far from the contrary, the book isn't attacking men as many believe. The first part clearly states those characters that mommy dearest has always been telling you to avoid. And while they are not the majority of this society, they still roam around us. The second part was quite refreshing, I must add, (I advise reading the second part about females before the male part to get a few laughs). A female ridiculing other females is rarely heard of and it was quite insightful seeing what your own gender is capable of. Imz believes that "this whole ideology this whole ideology of the angry woman who is rebelling against men is quite outdated. We should not aim to go against the nature of mankind. Men cannot live without women and vice versa. We should find the perfect setting for the adaptation and harmonization of both sexes."

While I believe that this book has its own audience who do need a few pointers in the dating world, this reviewer had a hard time enjoying it due to many grammatical mistakes (I read like a proofreader unfortunately). Imz provided a simple style of writing, easier for the audience but she also broke a few language barriers by including too many Arabic slang expressions written in "Franco-Arab", maybe to reach a larger audience and to add humor. I also feel that book was elongated and became quite repetitive after reading a few characters. However, it is interesting as a concept, the characters and their deadly traits add a useful perspective. So, if you are still looking for Mr. Right or have a habit of falling for the wrong guy, take a hint or two from Imz Khattab just because it's an "Egyptian" relationship book.

Author Tackles Post-Honeymoon Woes

2010-09-02T12:17:00.000+02:00

Published in euphoria magazine July 2010

When the Honeymoon is Over is the latest book tackling marriage woes and triumphs in our Egyptian society. Written by May Taher, a first time published author, she delves deep into the most common problems that arrive when a couple leaves the sweet honeymoon phase and enter bitter reality. May Taher talks to euphoria magazine about her book's success and her discoveries on Egyptian couples.

When the Honeymoon is Over describes several situations where couples are often faced with that leave them forgetting their initial passion. "In Egypt, we define success by certain criteria and one of them is getting married and having a family. And then the minute they are married, all they can do is complain about it. It's as if the glory of marriage stops at the honeymoon phase," explains May. "I discovered that everyone I know is yearning to get the passion back." But May also believes that there's hope for love if you really fight for it, your relationship might actually become better.

Unlike most relationship books, this one won't be full of tips and self-help advice as it's written in a form of 16 fictional short stories. "I am not a relationship expert nor do I pretend to be. I am not qualified to give professional advice and so writing a self help book would have been a bit strange for me," explains May. "I wanted to share experiences in a more entertaining manner that would get people to subconsciously get the message without sensing that they were getting any relationship advice. And at the end of the day, the most I can hope for is that readers are entertained by the book," she continues.

You could go to any book store and find hundreds of romance novels and books about relationships. Unless they are in Arabic, the books are usually western. But with When The Honeymoon is Over May got a chance to present our version of love lives. "An American woman facing divorce isn't going through the same things that an Egyptian woman is. They are extremely two different worlds with very different things to consider," May states. And one thing that May has discovered in her observations and research on the Egyptian couple is that they lack initiative, "people love to complain instead of doing something about it. And there is also a lack of transparency between couples where certain topics are just taboo and not to be probed," she says.

Following a very simple style of writing, you get through the book like a cool summer breeze. The stories are very real and so in touch with our Egyptian society. Affairs, cultural differences, divorce and many other problems are shown through the stories. The men and women in the book, all from different backgrounds and classes, have a story to tell about their love lives. At some point, you might think certain problems in the book are rather cliché, but then again, relationships in Egypt tend to revolve around only a repeated number of problems. Some characters, while real as they are, may very stereotypical; the man is the cheater or womanizer or a mommy's boy but the woman is strong and independent. Maybe May was leaning more towards her sisterhood? Not so sure. While it's a good read for some, most stories seemed to have a rushed and fairy-tale-like ending, something that would make a reader feel the plot is missing major conclusions. Other than that, it's quite refreshing to read the "fictional" side of Egyptian love lives.

Third Time’s a Charm

2010-09-01T15:39:00.001+02:00

Published in euphoria magazine's anniversary issue August 2010

The number three was never popular in my book; I always found it rather useless like the rest of the odd numbers. Anything related remotely to the number three was rather appalling…Three-year-old toddlers are very obnoxious, the third year in college is always the hardest, the third year in my twenties is as boring as ever and it’s always the third child (or the last) who gets the most attention, leaving the middle one in utmost envy.

However, with recent events I couldn’t help but find that three things this year are rather worthy of being highlighted.

Turning Three…
I never understood why I’m so fond of children and I’ve said so before on many occasions! I might not love a stranger’s kid like I love my own nieces but there’s something about them that always puts me in awe, maybe it’s their prevalent innocence or their cute chuckle that lights up their face. Maybe I think children are adorable because I haven’t changed a diaper! Whatever the reason is, I enjoy being the “fun aunt” who gets to act like a silly child herself when they’re around, always makes them laugh and plays with them but does not change a poopy diaper and sing a song about it! This year, my first niece also turned three and she spent it a thousand miles away. So I hold this a celebration of my own to her as she grows into this technology loving nut! Happy birthday!

Three times and you lose
At the end of almost every outing with my best friends, we end up pointing out the realization that till this day, our careers have been doing much better than our pathetic love lives. Closing in on a quarter of a century and the mystery of love is still undiscovered as society (ie. Parents) breathe down our necks to meet someone. It’s a sad reality but it does bring us laughs. Yet, when I join in on how our luck isn’t going so well, a look is shot at me instantly claiming that I have nothing to complain about because I have someone. But it seems to me that my supposed flourishing love life is in fact exactly the same as theirs; I’m unmarried and not even close to getting engaged. And while I enjoy the remaining months (maybe years) as a free but coupled up woman, I wonder, is life always a matter of either or?
This year marks the third anniversary of my thriving love life. Something that caused the father of yours truly put his foot down giving the soon to be tortured love interest a real either or situation! An ultimatum!
Happy anniversary babe! May we always spend our time dodging the subject of marriage to enjoy our irresponsible lives even more. That is until you finally put a ring on it!

Three years and counting!
The other day I was asking my best friend, a fellow magazine enthusiast, why we do this to ourselves? Why do we insist on drowning in deadlines, research, writing, editing and interviewing people who do not want to be interviewed. “Because when the magazine comes out, all of that doesn’t matter…” she confidently states. And I have to say that unfortunately she has a point!
People love the juicy stuff of this so-called glamorous job of writing interesting pieces, interviewing beloved celebrities and reviewing hot spots. But what really goes behind the scenes is far from glamorous. It’s a job where it’s just me in the office with a designer working on 96 pages of a matte paper magazine full of events, articles, interviews and a glossy cover of the most popular celeb to feed your appetite! It’s just me running around Cairo trying to reach that celebrity who does not want to be found and makes it harder for me and everyone else. It’s just me spending hours and hours in the black and white office with my boss, ruining my eyesight from staring at my computer and acquiring a large behind from sitting down all day. It’s me who ends up having a breakdown during production week; the most feared weak of all.
And yet, it’s all worth it! It all goes away for one day when the new issue is out and it smells fresh from the print house. It’s the thrill and pride as you flip through every page of your sweat and tears. It’s the celebrity that you got so excited to meet and managed to get on the cover (cough – Kareem Abdel Aziz – cough). And it’s the feedback reminding you that your efforts don’t go to waste.

Happy 3rd anniversary euphoria!

Shaving off the Edges

2010-08-07T19:53:00.001+03:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine July 2010

Change is good, change is healthy, change is something that can break your routine. We always want to change something whether simple changes like our hair color or our Cellphone or drastic changes like getting a new job or migrating abroad. Change is good…sometimes that is. And it depends on what exactly are you changing and most times, it doesn't apply to your significant other.

When you meet someone and you fall in love, you can't help but see that person as a beautiful sculpture with rough edges. The rough edges don't bother you at first; sometimes you don't even see those sharp and rough edges because you are so in love with the beauty of the sculpture itself. You take the package, blindly that is, believing that you can live with it. But when those sharp edges start getting in the way, start hurting you or bothering you, you decide it's time to shave off a few and in return you shave off a few edges of your own. You change how you are and you change how the sculpture looks; you try to fit together and to become one. Reading this, you might think that it's not really a big deal to change a person or yourself. You might think this is what a relationship takes to make it work, to change completely for your partner. But what happens when one day, you wake up, look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself one bit?

In this case, change is tricky. And believing that you can change your partner is the number one common mistake occurred between couples. More often than not, leading to an ugly break up.

Reem and Khaled were on and off for about seven years. Khaled was arrogant and had a temper that he always let out onto her. But, she took it. She handled it because she was so deeply in love with him, "I know I let him control me sometimes," she told me once. "But, I can't help the fluttering butterflies in my stomach," she happily states. And all I could think about was how much a person could sacrifice all for the sake of love. But I don’t know if it's healthy or not. I doubt it because what Reem told me later indicated otherwise. She hoped he would change after they would get married. But he didn't.

Sally and Ahmed are the complete opposite of one another. He's the laid back, over-thinkining optimistic person and she's the decision-making, pessimistic girl. But they were meant to be together and created this balance in their relationship. And while her cynical attitude sometimes annoyed him, he thought it was just a phase and believed that one day, she would change. When I asked her if he can live with it, she glanced away and then said, "I don’t know." She was shocked at how she can't be herself around him completely while he was tired from all of the negativity. They hit a wall as they were told by friends to reach some sort of compromise in order to save their marriage.

Eslam also had the same problem with his fiancé Farida. He always wanted more from her emotionally but she just couldn't give him that. She loved him but couldn't give more love than her own capability, thus being constantly labeled cold and insensitive. They worked hard on their loving relationship showered with fights and agony.

The aforementioned couples are real and while I changed their names for privacy, I'm more concerned with projecting their story. Each one wanted, hoped and needed the other one to change. They yearned to fit together but sometimes they couldn't handle their annoying tidbits. They, like most couples everywhere, have a hard problem taking the whole package but try earnestly to accept one another nonetheless.

I'm not an expert on relationships but I do know this: you cannot ask, order or hope a person would change after engagement or marriage, especially if they don't want to. You cannot think that changing them would solve all of your problems because it would only increase them. It's a myth to think that you can take that person and change him/her after official commitment; this isn't a virtual game. What you can do, is hint or suggest in a non-forcing and non-manipulative way. Then and only then the person would think there's a problem and would seek change. They would know that you're not out to change them but you're only concerned. You're not telling them what to do, but you're simply stating your feelings and let them react upon it themselves. Acceptance and tolerance and compromise should be the keys here. If they decide not to do anything about it and it's too much to bear for you, then a break up would be the only resolution if it's not too late.

A Pot Belly Relationship!

2010-08-05T17:50:00.000+03:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine June 2010

They sat down at the dinner table at 6pm. They always had dinner at 6 o'clock and it was the usual: fried chicken and spaghetti with white sauce. They made small talk as they devoured their meals. Unaware of how time had passed throughout their life together. They were comfortable. Too comfortable for that matter as she was a messy little thing with her hair all wrapped up in a high pony tail; her skin is as dry as stone and her pores are like bullet holes in her face. He, on the other hand, has also let himself go…all into his belly! Over the years, it got bigger and bigger. He didn't feel that a six pack or a decent health status would matter. He spoke crudely around her and farted and burped like there was no tomorrow!

This ladies and gentlemen is my worst nightmare to date. Being in a relationship for years and years where both partners let themselves go completely that they can't recognize the reflection staring back at them anymore let alone recognizing each other! A relationship where you're so used to the existence of the other partner that you get comfortable enough to build immunity towards it. A relationship where you were so in love that you've taken the little things for granted like travelling, going on dates, and non-occasional gift giving. A relationship where you didn't feel the need to impress your other half anymore.

I can be narcotic sometimes thinking that I will be taken for granted by him. I remember one time how my man used to say, before we dated that is, the he doesn't have a reason to exercise because he doesn't have a girlfriend. A few months later, we dated. But we both never found a reason to work out; we were too accepting of each other and too comfortable. So every time I see an inch of possible comfort, I go nuts. "What's wrong with being comfortable with who you're with?" he asks. And I don't even need to reply, I just push my hand against his pot belly and smile. That's your answer!

The endless articles in magazines about "How to Spice up Your Marriage" or "6 ways to ignite romance" are there for a reason by the way. So think twice before turning the page and thinking it's beneath you. Your mother's advice about how you shouldn't be too available has always been valid over the generations. Give too much and too quick and you might find yourself underappreciated too soon. We're humans, so taking someone for granted just because we got too comfortable happens and you can't deny it. Take a look at your parents, compare how they were when you 5 years-old to when you were 25-years-old, you will see major difference. Better yet, ask them what their first year of marriage was like and I assure you that they will pause, remember the memories, sigh and then smile. That smile in particular can be translated into an entire book! The first year of any given relationship is different. You're just discovering that person and get to enjoy many firsts with him/her. But later on when you do those things a million times, it leaves you feeling indifferent. You are just complacent that you're experiencing whatever activity you're doing with your partner and that's it. Well you know what? Complacent isn't enough! Not even close!

Shakespeare once said, "As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death." Meaning that once you feel satisfied with how we are in general, we would delve into an endless world of routine and boredom just because we got used to it! We would be breathing but we would be dead on the inside. If you don't seek improvements, you might as well kiss your life goodbye! According to Shakespeare that is! You might be wondering why you would be dead if the sole thing you want is a happily ever after and you got. Well, there's no such thing as happily ever afters. It won't be the end when you find your prince or queen as it's just the beginning. Yes, you got the partner and here it means the "want" but surely you wouldn't find a reason for living? Maintaining that successful relationship needs work and effort, you wouldn't want to lose that person, would you? That's you're reason for living.

The Man and Woman Rumble

2010-08-05T15:43:00.001+03:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine May 2010

Every gender has their own role in life, and call me a hypocrite feminist but I don't think equality would ever exist, at least not in the way most women want. Fighting for women rights should be about living and working just like a human being, but not to walk in a man's shoes. Because if it is and it would require a woman to propose, then we would be living in a topsy-turvy world, something out of Dr. Seuss!

Who wears the pants in the relationship?

This question is probably on every girl's mind when she's seeing someone. A girl would want to enjoy the ride as her man steers the wheel. She would want a man to feel safe with, but who isn't possessive; a man who takes care of her, but isn't controlling, and a man who is just emotionally balanced, strong and mature, but knows how to show her a good time. In other words, it shows that he simply cares enough to be leading in their relationship.

This is how a normal girl would interpret it. If you don't work on the relationship, then you are simply indifferent towards it and most importantly; her. It's also suffice to say that we grew up believing that a man would take care of everything while a woman exists to be spoiled. Call it the damsel in distress complex, but no matter how strong the woman is outside of her house and no matter how self-composed she may act, once she gets home, she would want to collapse in her man's arms and expose all the weaknesses and insecurities so he would wash it away.

Every girl wants a safety net, so when a man doesn't lead occasionally, it will turn her off and somehow she will strip away those attractive manly traits she has always loved. Being a man isn't about answering to your primitive instincts, controlling her or acting like her father, but about acting responsible towards her and your relationship.

Nowadays, the situation might be a little different and that responsibility will be divided and shared between the couple. And, as long as it's a balance of decision making, then all is well with the relationship. A couple can enjoy the ride if they take turns steering the wheel, depending on what they face on the road ahead.

Making the first move

In some cultures, making the first move is highly acceptable. A woman can flirt and pick up men like there was no tomorrow. They can also go as far as reverse their roles in life. You would find couples where the man stays home with the kids while the woman is the breadwinner of the family. Take India, for example, that mail-ordered maid you have is in fact the breadwinner while the man is home with the kinds back in her country. But I find it hard happening in Egypt as some men feel like you would be taking part of his manhood if he stayed home and relied on a woman. (yes they still think that way).

However, the process of taking the first step is rather tricky seeing as a girl doesn't want to come off seeming desperate or needy. When you take the first step, it should be simple, but expressive. Sometimes a girl can make the first move if she knows that it will push the guy to lead. She can sum up all her courage and throw away her fear for rejection because she believes that this guy will take many more first steps. It's not that the guy can't make his own decisions, but he also fears rejection. So, if you show a little bit of acceptance, he would totally act upon it. Most of the women I talked with about the idea of a girl taking the first step claimed they can only somehow manipulate or push the man to take the step without them actually doing anything at all. And then the "aww" and "ohh" come, thinking that you're the ever-so-sweet man who finally asked her out (yes we can be delusional).

Yet, in my opinion, I doubt that a true Egyptian girl would ever sum up the courage to propose. She might not ever forgive herself because she would want him to take this last and ever most magical step. It would take away the spark that he's the one who thought of it, or he's the one who planned it even if it's just a simple "will you marry me?". A girl has always dreamed of being proposed to in the most romantic or unique ways.

But in the end, it doesn't really matter. Every couple has their own start and their own love story that started with one simple step. After a while together, they would tell that story with the infamous "we" pronoun without paying any attention to who did what first. It's just a step.

In a Bed of Weeds

2010-08-03T13:33:00.002+03:00

It's hard for a flower to bloom in a bed of weeds. Finding that ray of sunshine among the overbearing weeds takes a lot of energy. The flower wants to survive and get out of the shade to find that breath of fresh air.

I bet most people feel like that flower more often than not. They try to be as hopeful and optimistic as they can while they remain lying in a bed of negative and blood sucking weeds, those who stopped hoping in a country like ours.

Watching a movie like "Asal Eswed" made me realize how much we degrade our own Egyptian identity. We have eternally placed it in the bottom of the food chain by our own doing. We walk around believing that we are the ones who are stripped away from our rights, we are the ones being harmed and we stand by idly while it happens, unable to defend ourselves. We blame the West, we blame the government, we blame the country, hell we even blame our parents, but in reality, we should blame ourselves.

I'm not writing a patriotic declaration. I know that our country has ups and horrible downs, I am aware that we might not even feel safe here, especially after recent events, and I know that injustice and corruption are just a few steps away. BUT living in cynicism and negativity is never the answer. The number of people complaining about the state of Egypt and how they want to leave are too many, enough to make anyone hate it. And it puts me in this dilemma, making me feel like that flower in a bed of weeds. I think your home country is like your parents; you don't get to choose and you're stuck with what you have (mommy and daddy I do love you!). So no matter how often you are bugged by the outcome, you cannot change it, but you can learn to live with it, compromise and search for the good sides. However, don't be too hopeful and live in the clouds, that's just avoidance. Staying in touch with your own reality will help you make it better.

Nothing is awful 100% and nothing is perfect at the same time. It's a balance, if you had a bad day at work; you go home to a warm family to cheer you up. If you failed hundreds of times, you are compensated with small successes here and there, even if it's just with your relationships or hobbies. By completely immigrating just because of the problems won't make your life happier. All you're doing is introducing yourself to "foreign" problems plus living alone and struggling with a strange place, strange people and strange language. Why not just deal with your own problems instead at least you have a familiar face or two helping you out?

If you don't want to look on the bright side, then don't but that doesn't mean you denounce your current life. Learn to change your imperfections, learn to love your life and try earnestly to get what you think you deserve instead of giving up. If all that doesn't work then just learn to live with it day by day and survive. And most importantly, don't ruin it for those who are trying to survive, who are trying to love it here and who happen to find the good side of things or even just accept it for what it is.

Call me a Disney Princess; call me optimistic, I won't care because I find it easier to focus on the good things so I can make it through the day.

Escapism

2010-07-12T23:05:00.003+03:00

It's becoming an ongoing struggle to write a decent note. I lost inspiration and misplaced my muse somewhere. It's stress and coping with life demands that gets you only thinking about the next five minutes and nothing more. It's avoidance of the hundreds of tasks piled up. It's the endless to-do-lists that become a burden. So, you procrastinate and stall…and then you escape.

People underestimate the power of escapism and categorize it under childish "day dreaming". It starts out with child-like imagination that you might have gotten accustomed to when you're little. Or it could have sprung out of your ability of imagination if your line of work happens to be creative; you're brain is always open for the impossible. Escapism is a method that distracts anyone from a certain task, situation or life-style. It's a mental diversion that you either put yourself intentionally in it, or you are dragged into it. Some say it's rather psychological while others find it normal means to get by in life. I happen to believe in both.

The idea of escaping your reality for a short while, if not more, is very tempting. Escaping your reality doesn't necessarily have to mean that your life is screwed up but given certain upsetting situations, it can cause you to drift into a world of your own, mentally that is. I've become so used to escaping my own reality that it has become part of my daily life now. Whether it's escaping routine, a bad fight with someone or stress, I just put a wall up, pretend that nothing has happened and distract myself with anything worthy of distraction.

My story with escapism started out earlier than I had hoped. I was young and insecure so I thought of ways to gain confidence; simply escape to a world where I fit in. All of that is in fact childish day dreaming. The true method of escapism came to me when I had gone through depression and I found comfort in two things; food and TV series. That was my mental diversion for so long that I've simply become used to it. I'm overweight and a TV junkie! Most successful shows out there, I happen to watch and remember story lines by heart (you can quiz me). I'm sometimes out with friends or at work and can't wait to get home to watch that Grey's Anatomy re-run. I just can't wait to escape. Somehow other people's lives, whether through books or TV series, are more interesting than my own. I could handle the escapism when it was just about TV series but I'm finding it harder to come back when I have a certain article to write and I'm browsing through Perez Hilton!

I think what I'm trying to say is that escapism helps sometimes, only if you moderate it. A human being needs to feel that there is one place or one thing that will get him/her to cope with anything. It could be a book or music or friends or even sleep, whatever it is, don't give up on that. It's the healthiest drug in my opinion!

Betty is no longer Ugly!

2010-06-08T00:48:00.008+03:00

As a huge Ugly Betty, I had to say goodbye to a brilliant series. After four seasons, the series has called it quits (or in other words, cancelled due to weak ratings). I was crushed seeing as I LOVED the series. Magazines, humor and a girl trying to fit in, what's not to love about that?!

America Ferrera stars as Betty, the not so attractive Mexican girl who seeks a prestigious career in the magazine industry. She's then chosen to be the personal assistant to Daniel Meade, editor-in-chief of MODE magazine, a lucrative Fashion Magazine. And so, the juicy story full of deceit, murder of key figures, people trying to take over the company, her trying to become and editor and fitting into a world she clearly doesn't fit in, begins. With a few side plots of tales of love and family.

The fact that Betty is in the magazine industry is an appealing factor for me. I'm a sucker for magazines so give me any series or film about running one or working in one and I'm sold! It was interesting seeing how Betty was climbing up the career ladder in the magazine industry from a personal assistant to a features editor. Even though it was a fashion magazine and Betty was far from stylish, she was still resilient and proved to be a powerful asset to the magazine and her boss Daniel Meade. I somehow related to her because I was going through that myself, I worked hard at any magazine I was in, I tried to overcome my fear of public speaking and give "networking" a shot at social events and so on. Most of the story line happened to coincide with my life believe it or not. The career parts that is, not the love life and definitely not the awesome office and co-workers! (yes, I know they ridiculed her endlessly but it was all blown over) I relished in Wilhelmina Slater's wickedness and vindictiveness played by the glamorous Vanessa Williams and laughed hysterically at Marc and Amanda's antics. Three characters I'm utterly fascinated by.

(Far Right: The Diva and delicious villain Wilhelmina Slater.

Below: The hilarious duo Marc and Amanda)

With powerful characters and interesting storyline (except for half of season four which is most probably why it got cancelled) I was still surprised at it being axed. I'm going to miss watching how a REAL magazine works. It was such a rush! I loved the whole dynamic of the magazine industry, something I somewhat lack. I'm at a great magazine with an amazing editor's position but the office is just me and the designer. So not your average magazine. (damn, I need to go work at Cosmopolitan or something).

So the finale was all I could think about and I was saving the best for last. I figured it would end at Betty finally leaving MODE magazine and working for the New Yorker or something. I knew the finale was going to a bit predictable, but I didn't predict Betty's new love interest.

** If you're a fan, do not continue reading. SPOILER'S ALERT**

(Betty's main love interest Henry Grubstick)

Betty was offered a job in London to help run a magazine with a powerful British publisher. Her boss, Daniel Meade didn't want to let her go. We all believe that it's because she's a good friend and co-worker to him, but no, his mother Claire shows him his feelings towards Betty that he could not recognize. Daniel then decides to give full control of MODE magazine to Wilhelmina (who has been pining for it from day one and the moment she gives up, she finally gets her wishes) and he travels to London to be with Betty.

I can't even write this paragraph with a straight face. I find it disgusting. Betty and Daniel? A couple? It just doesn't fit! Their chemistry was more friendship than lovers. I can see why they would make Daniel fall in love with her because she's been around for him through the good and the bad and was there to pick him up from his days as a media wreck. But they've made it clear that there was no spark between them. No hints, no nothing. They are so close that they seem like family and nothing more. So you can see why I found their future relationship or the idea of it resembling incest! I was surprised because I thought she would be returning to Henry Grubstick, the love of her life. But Daniel? Nope, never saw that coming. The ending was rather open-ended as Daniel only asks her out to dinner. So maybe they'll be back for a movie perhaps as Vanessa Williams is advocating for it these days?

While the finale was rather disappointing in terms of her love life, her career went on to what Betty truly deserved (3o2baly!).

And of course, Betty is no longer Ugly. As soon as she lands that editor's position she starts dressing nice and becoming a bit fashionable with little "betty quirks" here and there.

(Daniel and Betty in London during the Ugly Betty Finale's final scene)

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

2010-06-07T15:47:00.002+03:00

It's 3 am. My eyes are extremely puffy from staying up excessively and staring at my dull laptop screen for hours. My face is etched with stress pimples and I have been towering over the keyboard trying to finish the loads of work I have while blaming myself for insistent need to procrastinate. All I can ask myself is, why do I have to do this to myself every time?

I'll be honest, this column in specific was changed at the last minute because, as I sat in front of the blank document page, all I could think about was how I had two meltdowns in the past month. My stress and pressure immunity somehow broke and resulted in breaking me. It got me thinking about a human being's emotional spectrum that keeps going haywire with just the tiniest of pokes. And I wonder; how much more can we handle before going comfortably numb?

With today's current events, we have become apathetic. The death toll of people in war-stricken countries don't mean a thing anymore and the hundreds of disasters happening stopped scaring us. With our society's pressure and constant need to ignore us, we have become indifferent. We stopped caring if we don't achieve our dreams because society says we can't and the sad thing is that we believe it. With any personal pain we go through, we have become depressed. The amount of personal struggle, stress and heart breaks are too much to bear, we simply bounced back into nothingness. Then comes fear. We are used to being numb that we're afraid to even regard fear as an emotion that needs to be acted upon. We're afraid of moving on, succeeding and taking any necessary step that will mark our paths in this world. As U2 would put it, "you are stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it." But Bono also continued saying that we've got to get out of it. We need to ask ourselves, how long will we be stuck in a moment and not even care that we're stuck?

I will not preach and I will not advise because then I would be the biggest person living in a glass house. But I will say this; I can start with myself. I can start with baby steps on getting over my crippling fear to achieve and comfortably falling into routine. Something that I have gotten used to ever since a certain dark stage that left me numb. And I do know this, even though we are numb, you can still look deeper to find that glimmer of hope; feelings and emotions. For me, it was my overrated breakdown and I finally understood why it's so beautiful. At least things can still get to me and affect me this much. At least I can still react and feel and break my frozen prison, even for a little while.

El Baradei Effect

2010-06-07T15:42:00.004+03:00

Published in euphoria magazine April 2010

It would be hard to not even know a tiny piece of information about who is Dr. Mohamed El Baradei and why is the media and some of the Egyptian population concerned with this man. Why are most news publications attacking him and why do people get a glimmer of hope when his name is mentioned? And while we are not promoting his campaign, we are simply delving deeper into the commotion that was caused over one man. We take a look inside El Baradei, the man and the public figure, his career as the Director General of the International Atomic Energy Agency for 12 years and what the Noble Peace Prize winner announced that caused an uproar throughout Egypt.

A Story of a Man

Dr. Mohamed El Baradei was born and raised in Cairo, Egypt in 1942 and as most young Egyptians, he followed the footsteps of his father and earned his Law degree from the University of Cairo in 1962. Two years later, he took on the path of a diplomatic career in the Egyptian Ministry of Foreign Affairs. He was in charge of the political, legal and arms control issues by serving in the Permanent Missions of Egypt to the United Nations in New York and Geneva. In 1974, El Baradei received his PhD in International Law at the New York University School of Law. During that same year, he also served as the special assistant to the Egyptian Foreign Minister till 1978. Throughout the 80s, El Baradei worked as a Professor of International Law at New York University School of Law while in 1984, he joined the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) as a secretariat before becoming an Assistant General for External Relations till 1997. El Baradei spent 26 years at IAEA.

The Public Figure

Dr. Mohamed El Baradei was appointed as the General Director of IAEA in 1997. He was then elected for two more terms in 2001 and in 2005. El Baradei's terms were marked by dealing with powerful issues such as the inspections in Iraq during the 2003 invasion and tensions over Iran's nuclear program. ElBaradei described the U.S. invasion of Iraq as "a glaring example of how, in many cases, the use of force exacerbates the problem rather than solving it." While The International Atomic Energy Agency Board of Governors and UN Security Council have commended the ElBaradei for "professional and impartial efforts" to resolve all issues with Iran.

The year 2005 was a very special one for Dr. Mohamed El Baradei as it was announced that El Baradei and IAEA itself were recipients of the Noble Peace Prize for "efforts to prevent nuclear energy from being used for military purposes and to ensure that nuclear energy, for peaceful purposes, is used in the safest possible way". Egypt was thrilled and proud of another Egyptian citizen winning a Noble Prize. He's the fourth Egyptian after Ahmed Zuwail in Chemistry in 1999, former President Anwar El Sadar in Peace in 1978 and author Naguib Mahfouz in Literature in 1988. But the humble El Baradei felt that his winnings should be given to the people and he donated all his winnings to building orphanages in Cairo. While the IAEA winnings were spent on training scientists from developing countries. El Baradei also received numerous awards for his efforts as the Director General of IAEA including Egypt's most prestigious award, The Greatest Nile Collar, the highest Egyptian civilian decoration handed down by President Mubarak.

12 years of marking his name firmly in history in the world's nuclear war, El Baradei decided not to run for a fourth term and retired from being the Director General of the IAEA and return to Egypt, his home. But before he left, El Baradei did a series of high-profile interviews about his work with the IAEA and, surprisingly, the 2011 Egyptian Presidency Elections. In an interview with CNN, El Baradei was asked what he will do when he returns to his country and whether or not he will consider running for president in Egypt's 2011 elections. El Baradei later responded that he will only consider it if "there are built-in conditions of a fair and free election. But I will do what I can as an Egyptian to make sure that Egypt moves in the right direction." After this quote was aired in December, all debates about the upcoming elections have changed as we know it.

A Call for Change

During the controversy and countless debates regarding 2011's Egyptian Presidency Elections, El Baradei has stated that he might run for president but in order for him to do this, there has to be tremendous changes in the elections process and the Egyptian Constitution. His first condition was that the elections will be conducted in a fair way, giving people the chance to actually vote for their president and their opinion taken into consideration. On the other hand, it will be hard for El Baradei to actually run for president due to Article 76 in the constitution. Article 76 clearly states that any candidate for the presidency elections should be a political party member. The candidate should be nominated by the party itself and must have occupied at least one year in any of the leadership positions. Meanwhile, the political party should have been established for around five years with 3% of the seats of the People's Assembly and 5% of the Shoura Council. Independent candidates may also run for president if he receives the support and approval of 250 elected from Egypt’s representative bodies (approximately 6.5% from a total of 3847 representatives), from which a minimum of 65 endorsements to be obtained from the People’s Assembly (which constitutes 14%), 25 endorsements from the Shoura Council (also 14%) and 10 Local Council endorsements from 14 Governorates (4.5%) in order to ensure geographic representation.

With the aforementioned terms, El Baradei might not be able to run and to him, these terms are somewhat unrealistic. Which is why he asked to amend the constitution to allow independent candidates a chance to run for presidency.

El Baradei's announcement has caused what seemed to be a political stir in the Egyptian streets and media. His proclamation was received by mixed reactions especially from local newspapers and some independent ones claiming that every since he's retired, he's become delusional into thinking that he can amend the constitution or that he believes he'll able to run the country and so on. The backlash went on for about two months and heightened as he returned to Egypt. El Baradei conducted several high profile interviews with many newspapers, magazines and TV shows including "El Ashera Masa'an (10PM)" with Mona El Shazly and "Al Qahira El Youm (Cairo Today)" with Amr Adib. Both presenters did their usual grueling of their guest and delved deeper into his thoughts on Egypt, democracy and if he will really run for president. And in each and every interview, El Baradei confirmed only one thing, that he will think about running if the elections will be fair.

El Baradei believes that Egypt needs a prevalent effect of change urgently. He believes that he's talking as an Egyptian citizen and wants people to understand that they have a right in speaking up and forming the change they have so believed in. He believes that democracy needs to be deeply implemented but knows that he won't do it alone and that people need to realize this for themselves, "My role is to lighten the way and let people walk in it," he told Mona El Shazly on her program. "People think that politics is something and their daily bread is something else. They need to know that they are related. People now should have a role instead of being cynical but to regain their self-confidence and trust to be part of the regime and not on the side lines," he continues. With that being said, Egyptians have places their hope on one man.

A Hero or just an effect?

Dr. Alaa El Asswany said to a news program that Dr. Mohamed El Baradei "is not a magician who will come and spread justice with his magic wand but he's a man who wants to cause democratic change in our society." And with that hope for change, a new responsibility had been placed on the shoulders of El Baradei indicating that people are so desperate for change without really knowing the facts. In a press conference in Germany, President Hosni Mubarak was asked about El Baradei and whether or not he thought he was a local hero, to which he replied that "The entire people are heroes. We don’t need new heroes from abroad. If he wants to join a political party, he can choose any party he likes, we won't restrict it. If he wants to run as a candidate through this political party, by all means, go ahead. If he wants to run as an independent candidate, there's no problem as long as it's according to the Egyptian Constitution."

El Baradei has decided against joining any political party but is inclining to run as an independent candidate if the people wish him to. Thus, he created his own non-party-politcal movment "The National Front for Change" where he invited many people to join. Throughout these three months, Egyptian citizens have backed up El Baradei by any way they can. In a matter of days, his official Facebook group for his association reached 192 thousand members and counting. Not to mention the hundreds of supporters to his website campaigning for his possible run for presidency. "If Egypt were going to change, it is going to change through the young people," he told Reuters in an interview. Posters influenced by Obama's campaign have spread out rapidly with the same "Yes We Can!" affirmation. Hundreds greeted him in the airport upon his arrival to Egypt. Not to mention the support of some independent news papers and political parties such as El Wafd Party headed by Ayman Nour among others.

Yet the question remains, will he really run for president? Will the constitution be amended? And if he happens to win while analysis disagree he'll be able to, will he manage to create the change he's been calling for and enticing people to or will he disappoint them? If you recall, Obama called for the same beliefs and many are still waiting for results behind the eloquent speeches. But you have to ask yourself, is Egypt ready for this type of change or are we used to current situation?

A Little Bundle of Joy

2010-05-12T12:44:00.004+03:00

These past few months I've been surrounded by something so pure, so significant and so beautiful I haven't been able to resist. Everywhere I go I am followed by one thought only; babies.

At a normal stage in my life, I wouldn't be bothered; I love children and felt that my motherly instinct was quite strong (or at least this is what has been said to me over and over again). Until recently, it started to get quite overwhelming. It all started a couple of years ago when my older brother came for a visit from abroad with his two year old who I couldn't get enough of. Obnoxious, sweet, spoiled, adorable, you name it, she was a true child at heart and I realized I have come down with what I like to call "baby fever". I was carrying this so-called disease up until my older sister gave birth to her beautiful daughter. Before the labor, I told my man one thing: "get ready for my baby fever to be magnified." After labor, I asked my man another thing; "are you sure we even want kids when we get married?"

Children are in fact a blessing of life; they start off as pure as a white page and innocent enough to remove all the hatred and nasty feelings from you with one simple touch from their tiny and pudgy hands. But getting them is the problem! The tough experience of labor, the days of recovery, saying good-bye to your social life, the lack of sleep, the diapers, the crying…it never ends and I'm only a second-hand witness to this. Thus resolving into my excessive fear of even going through this myself even if it's a few years from now. And while I'm very happy with this resolution until I'm legally ready to have one, I've been exposed to baby talk more often than not. The clients I deal with are pregnant, my boss is on maternal leave and I had a motherhood issue to prepare last month. Not to mention the fact that one of my married best friends is happily knocked up while the other is already a young mother. And while I am sincerely happy for them all, I wonder, is the universe trying to tell me something too soon?

And the day has come where I will visit that best friend of mine who is wary herself of being a young mother. While all I have to do is support her by reminding her that she is blessed. I go to a children's store to shop for a perfect gift, a place that could melt any cynic's heart, a place where you simply cannot stop saying 'aww' repeatedly at the tiny shoes and tiny dresses even if it's just to tease your disgruntled male friend who was dragged with you on this shopping trip. Then and there I find a card describing a baby as a "little bundle of joy", not knowing that I would witness my own personal Hallmark moment.

I never thought anything would rekindle that feeling again inside me until I saw my best friend and her husband standing over their child on the hospital bed, holding each other and looking proudly over their newborn baby boy. My heart skipped a beat; it was a heartbreakingly beautiful picture. A new family was created as they managed to take a little piece of her and little piece of him to make a new tiny person with a world still ahead of him. I drove home with that picture in my head frozen for hours and hours as it puts a smile on my face and I realize; this is what I want, a small family…at least at a later stage in my life…

Congratulations Betty on your Little Bundle of Joy!

Always the Best Friend but Never the Girlfriend

2010-05-05T13:28:00.003+03:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine March 2010

I was always naive enough to believe that a man and woman can be friends, best friends even, and not become involved in a relationship. I thought that they can love each other without being in love with each other. Or so I thought…

I grew up with two brothers and eight male cousins. I was around those 10 figures for as far as I can remember. And while I have adapted to the tomboyish life, I have also learned how to communicate and deal with the many male figures an ordinary girl meets throughout her life without having any trouble. I acted as though those figures that I have met were my friends, my buddies and my close confidants. I trusted them, hung out with them and was my own self because I wasn't trying to impress any of them. After all, they were my buddies. So we talked about everything from music to movies, from college to books, from family to friends…and then it got a little strange; we grew up. Meaning that our talks have turned to discuss issues closer to our hearts, feelings and emotions, things I only talk about with my girl friends.

But I remained their friend, nonetheless. And I talked with them about their crushes and their feelings and their love lives. I listened to how vulnerable they were and encouraged them to be confident to approach that girl they have been secretly vying for. And while I give them advice, which I have required from the many stories of other people's experiences and not my own, they wondered how I knew so much. As I sat there quiet not being able to answer, they figured I just had some sort of heartbreaking experience that I rather not discuss. Whereas the real reason was that I was, after all, a girl, something they have failed to see but preferred to see as their 'buddy' with female genitals! So it's quite obvious that I would know how to approach girls or what his girlfriend is thinking after how he ignores her or what exactly to get her on her birthday.

Yet I relished in being the girl a guy goes to with his love problems, I strutted around thinking that I was a master at platonic love. But, I ended up listening to so much and supported them with so much that I forgot my own love life (not as if I had one back then) and life seemed lonely as they ran back to their girlfriends with my advice. In any case, I had no love life to speak of.

A lot of people would find my behavior quite odd, even going as far as claim that I like it when boys are all around me which was far from the case. (Although male attention is good every now and then, they weren't really around for my looks or my charming personality but for my friendship) and the question remains, can men and women really be friends or am I just a fluke? And I realized that the problem is with our culture and not the people.

Part of my childhood was spent in the United States and I spent them running around in boyish shorts and t-shirts with my girl and boy friends as if there's no difference between us. Till this day I could not escape this lifestyle, even when I came back to live in a much different Egyptian culture. We are taught to differentiate between sexes and although it might be socially logical it has caused us to mix up every feeling we have and not really categorize which emotion is for which person. To put it simply; girls are taught to love the boy but not be friends with the boy because society would call her a social slut while boys are taught to not be too friendly with the girl because she is too emotional and can get the wrong message.

Platonic love is a risky and unpredictable deal; you can either have friends of the opposite sex and learn to associate your feelings with the given situation or you fail at it and fall for them. In my case it was both, I had guy friends and I managed to control my feelings, right up until I met my boy. We started out as friends, then became best friends who ended up having feelings for each other and started doing the emotions dance, waiting for any one of us to say uncle on who loves who! For the first time, I failed at platonic love and gained real love, one of which that my other male friends were willing to hear all about just like I heard their stories…

Looking at Pretty Things

2010-05-03T14:02:00.005+03:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine February 2010

With today's media pressures on image and beautiful poster boys and girls are plastered all over magazines, TV commercials and even on the 6th of October bridge, people have become obsessed with image. Not only that, they have even added their partner's looks as a top priority. Being beautiful and physically attractive for the opposite sex is all what is on the minds of people looking for love these days. If you ask anyone of your friends, you'd find them mentioning at least three things they look for in a partner physically. I personally have a combo of perfect hair, smile, arms and eyes. But what is perfect and what makes it that way? We have been too preoccupied with what society told us to think about that we failed to ask what the opposite sex is really interested in. Then again, how do you explain the fact that there are hundreds of couples who don't fall under that category? Nowadays you find the less attractive husband with the gorgeous model-wife or the ever so handsome beau with a less pretty female companion. Have the laws of physical attraction changed or are people becoming more accepting towards their partner's appearance?

A Race for Beauty

Last year, I witnessed two of my best friends getting married. Bride number 1 aimed not only at having the perfect wedding but at loosing as much weight as she could. According to her, she would never allow her husband to see her so-called "curvy" body and she would have to refine her shape. I saw her try many diets and work out as crazy till she reached her goal weight. Nevertheless, she was a beautiful bride. And several months later as we walk in mall with many fashion stores displaying size zero items, I ask her, has she done this for herself to fit in the a gorgeous dress or has she done it for her man? She answers that she did it for both reasons but realized that her partner wouldn't mind how curvy or thin she is and she's getting in shape to be satisfied with her looks.

While Bride number 2 aimed not only at having the adorable wedding but at gaining as much weight as she could. According to her, she thought that her husband wouldn't like how "bony" she is. She wanted to get curvy but with her body type, she didn't. She ended up being a pretty bride who had her friends remind her to lift up her strapless dress every now and then.

Misled Perceptions

It's a known fact that both sexes have perceptions of beauty, but it is also known that males often put a significantly higher value on physical appearance than women do. That fact can sometimes fool you because the perceptions of beauty change from one person to the other and it sometimes goes the other way around.

There was a study conducted in the United States between a large group of males and females. Both sexes were asked to determine what their ideal build was and what they thought was attractive for the opposite sex. Surprisingly, women chose a much thinner build than what the men really opted for. Men had chosen an average build, indicating that maybe women are in fact misled as to what men really prefer and that they alone affect their aesthetic judgments by the influence of other women. Why else would they want to look like skeletons when men aren't really interested in that?

Women are insecure no matter how confident they seem; they will always be complaining about a nose or thighs or hips or arms or whatever. But could it possibly be that we're the ones doing this to ourselves, believing that this is what men want? And the notion still lives. As I discuss this with Eve, a close friend of mine, she recalls how she had problems if her man ever holds her around her waist. She always moved away casually so he won't feel how curvy she really is thinking it would alter how he is attracted to her, a man she thought was only interested in bikini-clad women. Which in the end, was far from reality but she had let society's perceptions get the best of her and almost ruin her relationship let alone her self-esteem.

Love is Aesthetically Blind

When a girl gets a suitor or a man meets a potential bride, judging their appearance is inevitable, and might even help in their final decision if they didn't like what they see. If they ever happen to be attracted, what are the odds that they are a match? But when a girl meets a guy she likes and vice versa, they begin to relinquish their judging attitude as soon as they feel a shimmer of interest for the sake of a potential hook-up. So they settle for the sake of love and end up realizing that their partner is beautiful inside as they are outside. Moreover, counting on image as a start may not be guaranteed for love. When a person meets an unlikely match but they can't help their chemistry, they go for it anyway and end up forgetting about the doubts they had in the beginning. I personally believe that although image should be one of the priorities but not a top priority. Those who say that looks come last are fooling themselves; we all like to look at pretty things. Yes, they say love is blind but if a person really has an outstanding personality, I find that it is painted all over their face and end up being the most beautiful person there is.

Adventures in the Closet

2010-03-29T16:04:00.001+02:00

She was half way buried in her bedroom closet, one that was filled with colorful suits, trendy dresses, fashionable skirts, and fancy fur coats. She felt deep regret at the sight of each clothing item, frantically picking each one, giving them a good long stare, shaking her head and putting them back to their rightful place; in the closet.

Her daughter stood leaning at the doorway watching her mother look through her life adventures locked away in the closet. She felt sorry for her mother and tried to console her with words, but it was of no use. The clothes were her mother's life; they reminded her of a time when she first traveled abroad by getting a job as a flight attendant. They reminded her of the time she visited her mother to leave her first born and then fly away to a new destination. From London to Paris, she shopped and brought home glamorous souvenirs that one day she would wear proudly. They reminded her of the days she took her two children to the park to spend a lovely afternoon. They reminded her of the several years she spent in USA with her family of four kids and a husband. From Phoenix to Mesa, Arizona she bought hundreds of items in hopes of wearing them one day. She bought her two girls and two boys outfits to fit them a life time; she wanted to build them a future, make sure they are warmly dressed and ready for anything. She bought them outfits for their children one day and bought the girls dresses to wear at evening parties. She planned ahead and always thought about their needs. But, when she came back to Egypt, everything changed.

Her mother died and for years she wore hundreds of outfits adorned with one color; black. She locked away her outfits from London and Paris and Arizona in her closet. She covered them with plastic bags in hopes of one day wearing them. But she never did.

Years went by and she never wore them. She got veiled and limited herself to certain types of clothes. But she always glanced through the closet at her acquired gems over the years. One day, she was looking for something to wear in an unpredictable Egyptian winter and found more outfits than she had expected. She panicked at the number locked away in an unknown area, some used, some unused, and some with their purchase tag over them. She laid each outfit onto her bed and showed her daughters her fabulous clothes back in the day where she was a stylish woman. She showed her daughters the styles that they had wanted to buy but prevented them from with the much used saying "I have that exact same thing at home; old styles are coming back by the way." She would argue with one daughter at how the red dress she wanted to go to a wedding with was for day outings. She was and always would be glamorous. It was a shame her daughters did not inherit that from her.

I Love You Mommy…

Thoughts on the Oscars 2010

2010-03-08T23:51:00.006+02:00

Although sitting in front of the TV for 5 hours to watch a slow and sometimes boring award show, I still do it every year. Call it love for award shows or the love of movies or the love of the suspense of who's going to go home happy or who's going home empty handed. It's a night of glamour and glitz honoring great films (and questionable ones) that you cannot miss.

So this year, I couldn't help being entertained with my own thoughts as I watched this year's Oscars and I thought of sharing them out of boredom and a nag for writing:

- The likes of Egyptian Actresses Nabila Ebeid, Elham Shahin, Nadia El Gendy and Lebleba should REALLY take a look at classy women such as Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren. They might learn a thing or two about style for older women. Meryl looked so classy, elegent and simple she was just glowing! But compare her to those three actresses at the Cairo International Film Festival; they looked lost and tacky.

- After watching the Emmy's I thought Neil Patrick Harris (also known as Barney from my favorite sitcom 'How I Met Your Mother') was sheer brilliant. He was entertaining, fun, witty and just offered something different. While he was a good choice for the Emmy's he wouldn't have exactly fit for hosting the Oscars but deep down I really wanted him to. Luckily they managed to give him an amazing musical number but his voice ended up being kind of shaky and lower than the music…Yet it's fun seeing him on stage.

- I somehow expected more from Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin…Although some moments were funny, they weren't as funny as I was expecting and I felt they were just randomly throwing jokes at the people nominated and seated in front of them…if that was the joke, then I don’t get it!

- Ben Stiller is silly, I know, I know but you gotta love how unorthodox he is when he's presenting at the Oscars.

- I was ultimately surprised that The Hurt Locker walked away with Best Director and Best Film. No matter how high it climbed, it's still a war movie (and my repulsion at war movies is probably keeping me from watching it.) Even if I did I wouldn't find it worthy of both because what could it possibly offer? On the other hand, I don't feel that Avatar should have gotten Best Film; it's great direction but not really great on the story seeing as it's quite predictable. So it does leave me in quite a dilemma since I felt this year's movies aren't so well. All in all, I'm starting to accept the Oscar win for Kathryn Bigelow because her feminist side is stronger than her dislike for war movies...First female director ever!!

- I always love it when the Oscars prepare special a special montage about something or they twist it up a little bit with different ways of presenting an award. This year was getting fellow co-stars of Best Actor and Actress nominees to say a few words about them. It was very interesting.

- Up deserved EVERYTHING!! Best Animated Film and Best Original Score..The first 10 minutes of UP are heartbreakingly beautiful, it just puts you to tears!!

- One of the best moments throughout the entire 5 hour show was when Sandra Bullock walked home with the Best Actress award. She truly deserved it.

The Things We Do for Love

2010-03-01T16:55:00.004+02:00

It's funny how right before I even begin to think of a topic that certain events unfold right before your eyes. And it leaves me wondering of the many things we go through all for the sake of love. The world around us has nothing else to talk about except love; love yourself, love your friends, love your parents, love your job and love your life. The movies with romantic and corny love tales are endless and the songs about love are played non-stop on the radio. Our search for love will never end.

For the love people

We always search for acceptance in our society, our home, our schools and we end up being deeply disappointed it if we didn't find it. We go about our lives trying to fit in and make others like us but we start making enemies instead. We argue and we say things we don't mean. We are protecting ourselves and will not let anyone walk all over our poor selves. So we lose people, even if they didn't matter much to your life anyway all for the sake of protecting yourself. But how can we search for acceptance when we sometimes don't even accept ourselves? Protecting yourself doesn't mean sometimes that you love who you are; it sometimes means that you're too insecure and scared that you are saving what's left of you from the brutality of other people. However, in order to truly fit in, even in a small circle of the society around you, we have to accept ourselves above all else and that will make you realize how important people are you. They will be the ones who bring the best out of you and those who do the opposite aren't worth it.

For the love of the job

During a night with a group of friends, I noticed that the dominant topic of our long conversations was our search for the perfect job. Searching for a job that would bring us self-satisfaction, fulfillment and a reason to live. Searching for a purpose to our lives and an excuse to wake up every morning, a job that would introduce us to the world and make us feel that we're not wasting any moment of our short lives. We're simply searching for a job we love. Yet our search is rarely successful, either we're at a job with a perfect atmosphere and co-workers but the nature of the job itself is awful, or we're at a job where the nature of it is perfect but the atmosphere and co-workers are horrible. You just might never get it right, but we work anyway and spend the rest of our days and weekends complaining and whining about how adulthood isn't what we expected. So we search more till we finally love what we do.

For the love of your other half

One of the characters of one my favorite show once said, "I'm tired, I've been dating since I was 15, where is he?!!" referring to the one, the knight in the shining armor, the partner, the lover; the other half. We date too much till we find the right guy/girl or we might not date at all in order to save up all our energy and love for the right one. Ironically, when we sometimes find her/him we just might be the ones who will push them away. We nag and worry and try our best to build the perfect relationship, neglecting the fact that there are two people in this relationship. We hide behind the excuse "all for the sake of love" and pressure our other partner to take care of the relationship so it won't go to waste. I might do the same sometimes as I look at my 28-year-old man hoping he's not actually harboring a 15-year-old teenager inside of him. One that just wants to roam the world free with no responsibilities whatsoever and leave me, the old and mature responsible person behind. That just might even be my own imagination and fear that it might not work out. And I hope, for the sake of love, that it does.

In the end, we're all searching for something, but what we really do need all the time, is love.

Alice, There's No Time for Hellos

2010-02-10T13:16:00.008+02:00

My first encounter with how time is highly important and wasting it won't do much is by watching The White Rabbit from one of my favorite Disney films "Alice in Wonderland". At that age you are still a child without a care in the world. Seeing a white rabbit run around and look at his watch exclaiming "I'm late, I'm late. There's no time for Hellos. Goodbye! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" can seem quite funny. But as you grow old, the laughter dies away and you realize that you have become the silly old rabbit and you have no time for hellos let alone goodbyes.

My second encounter with how time is highly important is through my dear mother. She's always in a rush to finish things and go to places. She was my White Rabbit, who resembled time, and as much as my siblings and I joked about her resemblance to him, it somehow caused an opposite effect with me. Every time my mom would charge me into fast forward actions, I would perform slower in an attempt to make more time for myself. I do not know if it was deliberately or not (well, maybe sometimes it was) but this slow reaction has affected my life's movement because even though I wanted time to slow down; it didn't.

And I find myself resembling Alice in my own little and Egyptian wonderland. A girl with strong imaginations floating in her own little head, a girl set on a self-discovery quest, a girl who seeks to find her true self, not to mention her way home. For all the powerful symbols it represents, I would like to go home one day to relax after how tiring the search can be. The sad truth is that home is no where near and I have yet to begin my so-called soul searching. And as I'm busy focusing on my journey, I'm missing out on all the vivacity of life. As the wheels keep turning and the clock keeps ticking, I'm missing out on a smile, a laugh, a tear, a chance for love, a birthday, an opportunity…and it keeps going on.

Time seems haunted most of the time, like it's possessed and it leads a life of its own. It has been moving so fast that I have become immune to it. Numb to the many happenings I am missing out on. I can't tell what day it is or which month it is, because I'm always planning ahead, my eye is on the future and not the present. I'm too busy with careers and goals that I'm not living my life itself. I come home from work everyday not wanting to do anything and I keep procrastinating hundreds of things till tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes as I'm entered in this perpetual rut. Every passing day won't be returned to me and the thought of looking back one day when I'm old and grey and realizing that I have not yet lived is frightening.

And as the New Year approaches I am left with hope of changing all of that for real disregarding the gut feeling that I might not. But I decide not to make but only one resolution; I will try to live more…

Smoking Kills…But it's Sexy!

2010-01-12T20:20:00.007+02:00

Before I begin my ramblings, I would like to make it clear that I am AGAINST smoking. It's a disgusting habit and I urge my smoking friends to stop while they are healthy. This article is for the sake of sarcasm and humor (which should not mix in the middle of the night next to a laptop and a writing mood).

However, it didn't stop me from trying out the cancer stick just to see what the fuss is about. Yes, I happen to be a curious person, so sue me! We are taught that smoking equals a bad habit. It's bad for your health in many, many ways. It gives you disgusting and yellow smoker's teeth and dark gums and it also affects your breathing and your vocal cords over the years. Not to mention how awful a person can smell when he/she is drenched in smoke. That's what we are taught but all I'm seeing these days is the sex appeal! And I'm not the only one!

There is something about sitting with a straight posture with a cig in your right hand discussing anything that comes to mind, especially if it's a woman, it's almost…diva like. The image of this woman can be described as elegant, confident, sexy, and driven and knows how to get what she wants. She's not afraid to speak her mind and will let you know when your bullshit is too much for her. It's an image that has suddenly been carved in the heads of non-smoking and smoking people alike; smoking is attitude.

Several girlfriends of mine would agree and they all are not smokers but can't help at being curious as to experiencing this attitude. One has to wonder if it's just a phase or curiosity, is it boredom of routine or are we affected by the media?

I just finished a certain episode of Sex and the City, one that I saw for the 70th time. Carrie, the lead character and a smoker, was standing in a charming street in Paris. She was wearing an elegant dress and a chic coat but she was also standing with an accessory that suited this picture in one way or another; a cigarette. And as her boyfriend walks away he says: "You look sexy smoking." And there it is, the words that are convincing people that smoking is in fact sexy. An idea that is displayed through movies and TV shows. And while Tobacco companies have stopped advertising in bright day light, there are sneaky ways that devilishly whispers to us that smoking is not a bad habit, it's a sexy one that will make you feel powerful. Many magazine cover shoots have hot celebrities sporting this so-called sexy accessory. And as they sit on the cover with this cancer stick in their hands, you forget all about cancer, health, habits and focus on how that celebrity is the image of confidence and attitude. And we imitate without searching for another way to get that image of confidence and attitude.

And the devilish whispers continue, forget the realistic and shocking anti-smoking ads, and look at how that person looks sexy while doing this. Forget the sick man or the coughing kid plastered on every box, the packaging has become finer and more colorful. Not only that, you can get an entire different package to cover the unnecessary picture. Forget silly old cigs directed for men, look at the new and refined slims for women; they're long, white and beautiful. Forget about what other people say, choose the group of friends willing to try this and sit together in some smoky café with your trendy cigs and be confident and give attitude. Forget about this and do what I say till one day, the sexiness starts to wear out, the confidence shrivels and the attitude is no more. What's left is a bad cough…and maybe flavored shisha!!

Hello 2010!

2009-12-31T23:50:00.005+02:00

Like any other year, we end up making resolutions and like most years, we rarely ever achieve them and we end of breaking the promises we promised ourselves. I was afraid to write this so I won't look back at it in December 2010 and think that I'm a total sham. However, I will change the word 'promise' and replace it with 'hope'.

By next year, I hope that I become healthier than I am now. I have gone to the knee doctor about my silly joint problem which I have been postponing for ages.

I hope that I have lost some of the weight I'm dying to loose to get in better shape.

I hope that I have adjusted my writing style by writing hundreds of articles.

I hope that I have read at least half of the books in my library.

I hope that I have maybe written a book or even planned for its outline.

I hope that I have become more successful at work, I have completed more than one year a job and not get affected by its management.

I hope that I have taken a serious step in my love life.

I hope that I have become proactive enough to create some other projects beside work. I hope to save up to get a Master's degree in Journalism.

I hope that I have brushed up on my German.

I hope that I managed to travel to another country.

I hope that I won't be a huge procrastinator as I was last year.

I hope that I will do all of the above and that I will make a new list!

And these are my last words for 2009.

How a Woman Translates Your Gifts

2009-12-25T16:57:00.005+02:00

Published in euphoria magazine December 2009

Gift giving and receiving can be a hard task for everyone, including those who are in a relationship. But those who really have trouble with it are men. You cannot escape the gift season and as holiday doors are getting closer and closer, you prepare yourself for this mission that might not result in the way you had expected to anyway.

Women can be a tad hard to please when it comes to gifts. Even the most non-materialistic women see your gift as an expression of how you value her. It’s never about how much you can spend on your woman and practical gifts don’t always say “I love you”. So here’s a little guide to help you find out how the female psyche interprets your gifts.

Jewelry

Jewelry is probably the trickiest gift of all and given too soon might mess things up in the relationship. If you’re just a few days in your relationship and you bought her something sparkly, beware that she’ll start thinking the relationship is solid from the start. We are well aware that men don’t toss around the big bucks for a casual relationship. She’ll also take it as a cue that you love her. If you don’t mean it yet and were just being nice, then wait till you actually think of taking this relationship to a serious level. Other women however, don’t appreciate jewelry early on in a relationship because it seems that you are trying to buy off her affection. Jewelry should be preserved for the relationships that are getting serious or official. However, once it’s clear that your relationship is in fact serious, be sure to drop a lovely box of blings on any anniversary occasion or birthday. She’ll be expecting it and you don’t want to disappoint her, do you?

Chocolate and Flowers

Both of these items, as nice as they are, can seem a bit generic. It’s lovely when you give her a nice box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s Day but you cannot simply do this every year. It appears that you are not creative or that you’re taking the easy way out and sometimes would appear that you’re not that generous with your time, money and feelings. It also depends on the women herself, if she’s interested in gourmet products then by all means spoil her silly with lovely delicacies that she wouldn’t indulge in on her own time. Yet try to make that gift a side course and not a main one.

Domestic Gifts

With married couples, domestic gifts are rather risky and it might show that you are far from being romantic. They’re very practical and though useful they are, they don’t scream out your affections for her. So getting her the latest, hi-tech vacuum cleaner won’t make her swoon but will make her sigh and the many things on her to-do list (not to mention that it might also send the wrong message of her not cleaning her house properly). Not to mind, practicality never ignites the fire of a woman’s heart or makes her feel special. However, if you decide to go domestic then be sure it’s to make her life easier. Go for the not so frivolous house items but for the luxury items that express how you want her relaxed and at ease. The latest espresso machine perhaps or silk bed sheets show that you want to elevate her daily activities.

Gadgets

Speaking of making her life easier, men aren’t the only ones who enjoy hi-tech gadgets, they are the next best thing to making your woman feel special. Getting something hi-tech and highly useful for her which she, according to her lifestyle, might use occasionally says a lot. It shows that you cared enough to take into account her lifestyle by choosing the perfect gift. You can buy your woman a new iPod to help her long hours on the road seem nicer or you can buy your executive wife a new Blackberry or electronic organizer. For bonus points, add some of her favorite music to the iPod. And word to the wise, don’t give her the gift and then spend all the time discovering it yourself. Finish your technology discovery quest before wrapping it up.

Perfume

Perfume is by far the most personal gift, even more than jewelry and gadgets. So it needs a little effort from your side to get her the perfect scent so it won’t seem that you took the easy way and just bought whatever scent you got from over the counter. Scents to women are very subjective and she picks out something unique and only for her. You can simply get her favorite perfume to be on the safe side, get a scent that you smelt on her a few times and want her to put it on again, or just understand her interests in which type of scents and get

similar ones.

Gift Certificates

Gift Certificates do really come in handy if she’s into certain gadgets or books, you can get her a large certificate to Vrigin Megastores or Diwan where she can buy tons of items. However, Gift Certificates are like a double-edged weapon. It can be useful for her, she might actually enjoy buying things with it but it can also disappoint her. You might think it’s the most reasonable way to please your not-so- easily-satisfied woman but she might also think that you weren’t even bothered enough to figure out what she truly enjoys. Try adding another small thing with it.

Travel or Trips

This is by far the simplest and most well received gifts of all. Giving the gift of time is priceless and by adding your dedication and free time to be spent with her shows that you value spending time with her. Take an exotic trip somewhere or discover a new beach on a weekend getaway. You’re sharing experiences together and making time for your relationship. This would be a bonus for women who love to travel and might actually help you if your woman was the type who had it all and if you don’t want to buy a materialistic gift just for the hell of it. Just bear in mind to plan your schedules together.

Those are just some of the interpretations towards your gifts. An easier way to find out what she realty likes without dropping bombs on you is to notice her more. She will be dropping hints here and there about what she likes and she may even explain specifics if you pry a bit. In the end, just add a little effort and attention and you’ll make this gift buying experience memorable.

5 Reasons Why Winter isn’t THAT Cold!

2009-12-24T15:02:00.008+02:00

Published in Convo Magazine 2008

It’s another chilly winter season here in Egypt, and since you’re all curled under the covers reading this, I’m going to let you in on a little secret of mine that helps me get through this season. I’m one of those crazy people who believe that winter here in Egypt isn’t THAT cold for us to get worked up over. And here’s why:

Reason #1 Egypt is a hot country!

As if that’s news flash for you. Obviously we all know that Egypt is steaming hot (not in a good way though). Its geography and weather don’t really allow us to experience the true meaning of winter. We act like we’re in a freezing European country where the temperature reaches -11 degrees. We rarely ever reach 5 degrees. So what are we complaining about? Winter here is a complete joke!

Reason #2: More clothes means more shopping!

Haven’t you wished you could wear your winter clothes more often? Or getting the chance to wear that elegant black coat that makes you look like a celebrity? Since you’re one of those people who get cold and shivery at the slightest breeze, then all you have to do is put on that lovely warm jacket you bought this season! The thing is, the colder it gets the more clothes you can wear (and buy); you can always wear 4 items (something you would never wear in summer). Besides, if you have all that on then why are you even cold to begin with?!

Reason #3: The delicacy of hot drinks

The pure joy we get when drinking those tasty hot drinks should be cherished. Would you really drink a hot chocolate and cinnamon delight or have a nice comforting bowl of soup when it’s 40 degrees outside?!! No! You get one season in the year to take advantage of those things. Yummy ;)

Reason #4: It NEVER snows!

I always had this belief; as long as it doesn’t snow then it’s not cold! As long as you don’t see actual white snow fall from the sky that so magically decorates the streets (hale doesn’t count btw) then it’s not a decent winter.

Reason#5: Cold is always better than hot!

You must be joking if you think that the sticky summer is better than the cool and cozy winter? What does summer have than heat and humidity? At least winter is dry! Yeah okay it rains, but it's not sticky. You don’t get all sweaty and have to take 100 showers a day. And don’t get me started on how smelly people can get in public transportations!

So, still think winter is cold?

Living The Dream… Or Something Like it!

2009-12-24T14:58:00.005+02:00

Dreams… They are tricky and sometimes when they arrive you get the urge of throwing them away, no matter how much you wanted them. We dream that we get what we want, we hope it will come sooner, we wish it would last long and we desire to get better things. We would be standing at a point where we don't really know what's on the other side but want it anyway. We haven't had the chance to experience it yet; maybe it will be good for us or maybe it won't.

It all started with an ad in a youth magazine calling all writers. I was a passionate writer who never thought to make it a career because I liked to keep my writings private. But I wanted a place to express myself and that magazine happened to offer it. For five years it has become my second home. I won't say that my time there was bliss because simply put, the last few months before I walked out was hell on earth. Everything I have built was taken in a second and was made out to be nothing. It was nothing that I had enslaved myself many nights to try to be "the best writer" there was in this place because "any one can apparently do it". But I'm sorry, not every writer can have talent, passion and creativity in this business.

So, I went on to write in many different magazines about hundreds of topics. I got recognized for my talents, but it was always from afar. I aspired to get close, behind the masterminds (or so they say) that bring great readable publications into our hands. I wanted to work behind the scenes; I was so obsessed with it, that it was all I thought about. Yet I had always aimed at spreading my name by writing in general. And being "in general" will keep you on the surface of things; it won't make you connect, as a writer, with the reader.

This is why it took me ages to write this. Not because I have nothing to write about, which, in most cases, is a completely far-fetched notion and until the day it happens I would rather be dead than wordless. It's mostly because I can reach a point where I avoid things if it means getting 'too' personal. Let's face it, you don't want to read me blabbing away about this months issue, and you honestly don't want me to philosophize about this world's current events and how they have affected little humble me.

Since magazines have become a passion of mine, every time I laid my hands on one, I always went to the "Editor's Letter". For me, it represents a gateway into knowing the person who is somewhat responsible for the pages of this magazine. Especially if it is a new editor of a magazine I have always been following but upon reading their words, I find that they ramble on and on about what this magazine is all about. Not for them personally, no, but they actually go through the ABC's of defining what their publication is all about, regardless of the fact that it has been around longer than they have. A complete waste of words.

I recently discovered that getting 'personal' gets you somewhere. Being vague and obscure all the time is fun to embrace, in my opinion, because it lets people thrive to get into your head. But getting personal, it produces obsessions and an addiction to want more; enough to make you feel powerless and have nothing better to do, and it still works.

Stories are interesting, especially if they were real. When someone is writing about a real life experience and they have certainly used the phrase 'real-life' in their work, it attracts media frenzy. Regardless of the fact that this person's story might have happened to your next door neighbor but he just managed to discuss it first. And that's exactly my point as I lay here looking at different magazines, columns, writers I idolize, wannabe writers who I have been obsessed with while it never occurred to me to just let it out and be myself, even if it prevented me from being here a long time ago.

I have been denied living my dreams just because I am too bluntly spoken about them, because I am ambitious, because I am a leader who has strong influence and because I am open-minded or not open-minded enough as hypocritical as that sounds. I have been denied letting out my creativity, talent and years of experience just because they can hire a friend or because I don't have the right 'looks' to be an editor.

Well, all that is in the past and I am here trying at the very least to live my dream, even if it means getting personal.

Giving Up for Love

2009-12-06T21:25:00.004+02:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine December 2009

In every relationship, serious or not, there comes a situation of sacrifice. One partner or the other or even both are eventually faced with the dilemma of giving up something for their loved ones for the sake of being together.

Picture this: a very successful career woman falls in love with the perfect guy and decide to get married. However, he got promoted to another job overseas and it leaves her with the decision of going with him or not.

Why We Sacrifice

Every person faces a situation where they have to give up something for a friend or a life partner. When you love someone you come to realize that by sharing everything together there are some things you have to give up for the sake of keeping the relationship alive.

It starts out with simple stuff like bad habits or certain behavior tendencies and that's acceptable sometimes. Some have given up eating and cooking Italian food because their partner loves traditional Egyptian food, some have given up "boys night" to spend some time with their partner and some have given up their favorite TV show to let their man watch some sports. These are just small decisions that no one really frets over; when you're in love, you share and you compromise. You cannot lead a life of love with a stubborn mind and an independent being all the time.

But what about those big decisions where you end up sacrificing your whole life or personality?

When to Sacrifice

While some would give up numerous things in a heart beat for their true love, it takes others a while because it's not so simple. In a case like the one above and if they were married, the woman will be forced to go with her man to another country whether she liked it or not. For a simple reason, how are you two married and living in different countries? Long distance relationships might not help with your recent union. But, if you are still just engaged, then you should talk about what you have at stake. Are you willing to give up your whole life, career, family and friends for true love? And are you really sure he's the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Asking yourself this is highly important, before taking any rash decisions you must talk it over with your partner and family. If you're lucky, your partner may even consider traveling. Some men have mulled over the thought of leaving everything behind and found it easier in familiar territory. But since that's rare, take your time in deciding what to do. You might actually find it a great opportunity to start over and find a better job and live abroad.

Will that make me less of a person?

Well, it depends on what you're really giving up. If you're two weeks into a relationship and you have already given up your lifestyle, friends and habits then I'm afraid it does show a bit of weakness and desperation over being in a relationship. You should be sure of whom you're sacrificing for and if it is really worth it. Otherwise, it would seem that you don't have a back bone and are coming and going as your partner pleases. Not many partners, men or women, like this. Having a strong personality and not being indecisive is attractive in a person.

Exploit or Selflessness?

There's a difference between controlling or manipulating your partner to give up something and actually letting them decide on their own. If your relationship seems to be controlled then you're deluded to think that this is what sacrifice is, on the contrary, you're letting your partner become an authority figure and not an equal one who will compromise the same for you. The other partner should also be appreciative of what you're giving up for him and is willing to give up things also.

In the end, it comes down to if it is really worth it and if you're willing to give up things. Sacrificing is a two way road and is needed sometimes in every relationship.

Online Dating Services: The New Love Finder

2009-12-06T21:19:00.009+02:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine September 2009

I have always found the idea of meeting a person online pretty vague and rather pointless. It's hard to picture how a person can fall in love with someone online and would want to be involved with them or get married. The internet lacks the human affection and interaction. It prevents the sharing of warm feelings between partners and is replaced with cold words and arranged marriages based on your requests.

The Marriage Web

Today, there are loads of ways that you can meet someone online. I intended to neglect the word "special someone" because the process, in my opinion, isn't real. As soon as you type Arab dating service on Google, you're displayed with hundreds of dating websites. They're easy to register, they're free and you have loads of guys and girls looking for love. I've always thought that those who use the newspaper personals or dating services are people in their mid-forties or fifties who never had a chance of getting married. They have obviously given up on the search for love and decided that meeting someone online would be the key to living a happy and loving life. Well, that's at least what they hope for. However, I've realized that some parents would think of Marriage websites as an option if they're 24-year-old daughter is unmarried. If the world we live in today rules a 24-year-old young woman to be a spinster then for sure no one would get a chance of getting married! Turning to arranged marriage websites so soon is a strange sign in the dating world. But what these parents don't know is that most of these websites aren't that dependable.

Searching for more than love

It wouldn't be called looking for love online because you're just looking for a suitable partner. But looking for that partner in marriage websites isn't as reliable as you may think. While surfing through some websites, researching for this article, I found that people aren't looking for love or partners, but are looking for… how shall we say this simply… sex.

Marriage websites have actually become a cover for young horny men and women who are looking to have some "cyber fun" online. Having their profile pictures revealing rather too much of them or writing their names in sexual innuendos has become a trend. Those are some of the indecent websites, but there are some websites based on actual searching of a suitable partner.

Underground Matchmaking

Another way to try to get married is matchmaking services believe it or not. Yes there are matchmaking marriages here, not the "salonat" per say, because they're more "underground". They're mainly middle aged women who search for pretty girls to be the perfect wife for the many suitors or 'potential clients'. Those matchmaking women create certain events and gather around young men and women around the same age to get to know each other and hopefully get married soon.

We cannot deny the numerous stories of people falling in love with their "chat buddies" and their next step is to meet their online friends. But are they all successful? The answer is yes and no. Some fortunate people have actually found love online, were together for years and then got married. While others, it was just a fluke. In the end you have to ask yourself are the chances and statistics worth it that you try and fine a person online? The stories about lonely middle aged women who have been conned are endless and the internet isn't that reliable. So is it worth it to search for love in a risky atmosphere as the World Wide Web?

A Glass of Milk

2009-11-27T01:15:00.005+02:00

It's funny how a small situation can make you feel so little and puny.

I went to this event recently at a newly opened hotel in Cairo. Overlooking the Nile, I was very excited to attend a dinner there. The restaurant was lovely, the atmosphere was friendly and everything was just nice. I was an hour late and as I apologized to the host and the PR Manager, she brushed it off saying "oh no dear you didn't miss out much. We were just having drinks and getting to know each other."

Okay good. I said to myself. I did in fact not miss out on much because I wouldn't have been a good "drinking buddy". I sat down on a table with two foreigners and an Egyptian. I had to go through the formalities of introducing myself and getting to know them and actually socializing for a change. Maybe I really needed that pre-dinner get-together, drinking or not, it's not nice to feel left out after everybody knows who's who at this event. I was the youngest person in that bunch and no that was not what made me feel tiny.

Moments later, a foreign waiter arrived with a shiny bottle of white wine, Chardonnay to be exact. "Would you like some wine?" he asked.

"No, thank you." I replied politely covering the top of my glass.

The waiter, confused, asked "perhaps some other type of wine?"

"No," I smiled "I don't drink" I explained. So they brought me water.

As I sat there sipping my water and watching most of the other attendees sip bubbly expensive wine I was totally unbothered by it. It's my choice and it's not the first time I go some place where those around me drink alcohol. But this time, it felt different.

A while later, that same waiter approached me, gently placed his hand on my shoulder, came very close to me and said in an almost patronizing whisper "we have a wide selection of soft drinks and juices". Then and only then I felt I was very small. He said it with a condescending nod, like I was a little child who needed special attention. I felt myself drift back to the days when I was in America. As young as I was, all of the school lunch ladies knew I did not eat pork. And everyday as I went to have my lunch I had to say "No pork and no bacon" in a monotonous and robotic way. And the days they did in fact have pork I would either bring my own lunch or eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich…alone. Child or not, I still did it as a grown up. I was reminded of how every time Sarah and I would eat out in Scotland last year and we would have to ask "is this beef or pork?" But I never felt small during those moments. This is who I am and these are my values. Yet, that moment only I felt the room shrink and I grew younger. I know he was being nice but I felt like my response should be asking for a glass of milk instead.

I opted for my favorite juice; apple juice. As the waiter left to get me my non-alcoholic drink, the Egyptian in front of me said "oh well no one would notice the difference between apple juice and wine." Saying it in a way that I chose apple to try to "mesh" with my surroundings, this wasn't my intention.

The waiter then came with several juice glasses because they ran out of apple. I chose orange juice and even toasted with the other guests to this lovely evening with my bright yellow drink.

One Giant Leap for Career, Ten Steps Behind for Humanity

2009-11-26T14:32:00.008+02:00

I just released my 12th issue. I have completed a whole year working at a magazine. And though this is what I have always dreamed about; I have to say that a year later, I'm not so proud of myself or the person I have to become.

Dignity is a very strong word; often misused, often misunderstood and often stepped all over. I have always thought that I took pride in taking care of my dignity. I would not let anyone step all over me, I would not allow people to toss it around to each other like a dead rat and I would not let the closest people humiliate me. But it happens. There always comes a time when your own dignity and pride are on the line.

For a while, I faced a certain type of humiliation, on a personal note more or less. The kind of humiliation that would seem so simple to others but entirely new to me. And it was shocking. From two different people and on two different occasions but the end result was the same; humiliating your counterpart. I could not realize that the person in front of me has not only blown the situation out of proportion but is accusing me of things that are untrue. I was left to realize that a person isn't equipped after all to defend him/herslef all the time. A person cannot always be ready to surprise attack and may not have a witty remark prepared. I was that person and as I waited till the back lashing ends I asked myself: should I make it worse by attacking them or should I suck it up and calm the angry seas for the sake of my career?

For the sake of my career. For the sake of my Career.

That's what has been going through my head. "Act like an adult, Esraa," said my conscious, "don't stoop to their standards and move on" it continued. And for the first time, like the many times before, I listened. I figured being an adult is more rewarding. But I was left with restless guilt. Why did I not answer back? Why did I not take my own rights? Why did I calm the situation and not show them that I can shout and I can yell and I can pretend like I don't care about anything?

But I do care about everything. So much for listening to our conscious, nothing well comes out of it.

"Dignity comes as a side step to your career," a friend once told me. And I'm afraid to say that, I don't want to agree with that. I can't agree with that. How can I give up my dignity for the sake of my career? Does one have to stoop lower to reach higher? Or worse, does one have to tolerate inhuman acts for the sake of getting ahead? Is that what every leader, successful person and the movers and shakers of this world do? I highly doubt it. I doubt that in this world I have to eat constant shit to go ahead. And yes I am aware how naive this sounds. It wouldn't matter anyway, because if I did let my career get ahead of my dignity, I would let people dictate who I should be instead.

In spite of this, I still listened to the voice inside of me and acted like an adult (while those two people were much older than me). And I ate the shit for the sake of my career. I realized it took me a while to reach this and I'm just about to get comfortable so I can't lose it over not one, but two silly rows. I still have a future; I still want to become the best of the best in this business. Am I proud? Never. But one of my favorite quotes happens to be plastered over my car "Well behaved girls rarely make history". And I love it for its certainty and hate it for its meaning. There will come a time when I would have to be cunning and sly to get ahead. To leave my so-called naïve, nice and bashful demeanor and enter a much darker one, one that can defend and retort back. One that can defend herself and get what she wants not by playing nicely.

And a part of me still hates it because, just as I took a giant leap to save my own career, I took, not one, but 10 steps backwards for my humanity.

Settling for What You've Got

2009-11-26T14:13:00.008+02:00

Growing up, I've always seen a gorgeous woman who ends up marrying a less handsome-looking man. I've seen it in movies and in real life and I'm sure you have too. She's the tall one, the long haired one, the smart one, the gorgeous model with stunning looks while he's the average-looking, fat, boring or bald man. As young as I was back then, I wondered why these women didn't marry good looking men like themselves and settled for something less than their beauty standards. Silly me, I thought that beautiful people always belonged together. I figured that the only reason they could not care about a man's looks is because that they're simply not shallow and accept that man for his great personality. I accepted this excuse and figured that a good looking man isn't everything but his personality and charisma speak for themselves. Ironically, I discovered that the more I grow old, the more I realized that women do not only accept average looks but also they started accepting awful personalities. Does that mean women are starting to settle for any man that comes our way? Are we desperate to get married that we would rather give up a life of bliss for the sake of companionship?

After the many weddings I have been to this year and after seeing many unions of my friends', I can answer yes or sometimes. I have vicariously lived through most of my friends' decision making of marriage and what I saw was not pretty. I have witnessed the hesitant one, the satisfied one, the scared-to-death one, the commitphobe…etc. I have witnessed the one who decided to get hitched because she was pressured by her family, the one who decided to be with a rude man just to get married, the one who said yes because other's think he's a good guy, the one who was too afraid of backing out after all those years of commitment, the one who was too scared of not finding love again and end up being a spinster. And all of those girls are only in their 20s. Is it too early for this? Why in the world would bright young women who have their whole future ahead of them settle for what they have got now?

"Some women want to live protected by a man's shadow instead of a wall's shadow" explains my mother on one lazy Friday afternoon. "If you ask me, I'd rather you or any other girl become safe behind a wall instead of a crude man." She continues and I decide to become grateful that she's not one of those mothers who will worry if I become a spinster or who will force marriage on me. It's uncommon for mothers in an age where some mothers are starting to worry that their daughter in her early 20s will become a spinster.

Whether 20 years ago or this year, marriage is hard and many women sometimes see it as two things: their last chance of getting married and/or their personal way to escape the trapped prison they call home. Many young women feel that the restrictions are too much to bear and start to think of their marriage as a way of a new life, regardless of the man's flaws. With the constant pressures put on women these days to get married early, girls as young as 20 starts to think their chances are limited. They also think that good guys out there are also limited. So they end up not choosing carefully, but accepting the first suitor who's overbearing or treats her badly.

Is marriage that much of a big deal that I'm willing to live a life of fights, arguments and loathing just for the sake of companionship? Am I really willing to live with a guy who's deeply flawed just so I can be called a wife and have a roof over my head? Am I okay with letting a man humiliate me just so I can escape my home? What ever happened to finding my soul mate? What ever happened to trying harder?

Sadly, in an age of high technology, open mindedness, the breakthrough of science, gender independence and equality, the ultimate goal for a woman apparently seems to be one thing, no matter what: Marriage.

Surviving Her Shopping Spree

2009-10-30T22:04:00.002+02:00

Published in euphoria magazine September 2009

Women love shopping; there's no doubt about that! They can spend hours and hours looking for a certain dress they have their eye on. Yes, that's true, I knew a girl who took six whole hours to search for her engagement dress! But would you, a guy, ever do that? Would you actually go in each and every store to look for that perfect pair of jeans or the best leather shoes, or the glamorous tuxedo? Of course not! Shopping to men is as simple as picking up their dry cleaning, they go in and go out and they're done. While women like to take time to try out things, compare prices, check other styles…etc.

You might think that you have nothing to do with a woman's shopping habits as long as she does it with her girlfriends, right? Think again because once you get involved with a female partner, she will be expecting you to join her on her ravaging hunts through the wild, in other words, her intense and grueling shopping sprees through expensive and shiny malls.

You might also wonder why in the world your partner would want you with her shopping when she can go with her girlfriends who share the same interests. Well, think about it this way: wouldn't you have loved it if your other half took time out to play PSP with you or watch the game with you? It's the same thing: we want to share everything that is everything with out better half and shopping just happens to be one of them.

It matters to many women what her man thinks of the clothes she buys or how she dresses and while you have to go through this unbearable and long task, here's a few tips on how to survive her shopping spree:

Understanding Shopping
Understand what shopping means to her; maybe it's her way of relieving stress and that clothes make her happy. She might also value your opinion of how she dresses very much, so your input is needed. Shopping can be very special for her so try not to ruin it with your negative attitude; some women will think that you don't want to spend time with her unless it's something both of you can enjoy. Consider it an honor that you're invited to her sacred place and enjoy spending time with her.

Know Her Shopping Habits
Every woman has shopping habits; some are quick about it (lucky for you) while others take their sweet time in picking out things. You have to know what her habits are like in order to be prepared for it. Take the first shopping trip as a try out to know which stores that you need to bring a magazine or a book with you, which stores she takes the most time at thus you need to bring up your patience a bit and which stores you can do shopping there yourself. Gather your knowledge and be prepared.

Rushing Doesn't Work
As we've said, some women take their time shopping so try to be extra patient. Don't rush her into cutting her spree short because you don't like to be rushed either. Showing patience will show that you're mature enough.

Plan a Schedule
Try to suggest doing something else during the shopping trip. Break the shopping spree by going to a movie, dining at a restaurant as a break or suggest a new store or mall to explore. Planning a light at the end of a tunnel will sure get you to look forward to the end of that trip. You can also set dinner reservations at a romantic restaurant after the trip. By having fun during the shopping spree, you'll be turning it from a her-shopping and you-waiting experience to a fun outing. Just make sure it's something both of you enjoy so it wouldn't appear that you're attacking her shopping ways but more of a romantic idea.

Bring a Third Company
I don't mean let your best friend tag along and spend the entire time talking about the game. You won't like the consequences of that! What I mean is bring some sort of entertainment, like an iPod, PSP, a book, magazine; whatever that helps you survive the waiting period of her trying out thousands of outfits. However, try to be careful not to ignore her for gadgets or make them a distraction away from her.

Time Well Spent
Don't sulk over the wasted Saturday afternoon over her shopping sprees. Take it as more time spent together. Get a chance to catch up on your busy weeks, strengthen your communication more by flirting or holding hands. And you never know, she might even take you to a lingerie store.

Focus on Her
Since you're entering a realm of women and clothes, there will be a pretty store clerk here or there or a hot customer. Don't stare and don't forget that you're with someone at the moment. Your lady is watching you.

While shopping may seem boring for you, it's not for her. Remember that you're invited to something very special to her and enjoy being there for her. It's more than you just tagging along but actually it's more time to spend together. Try to enjoy that time with your woman.

She Was Waiting...

2009-10-25T23:55:00.001+02:00

She headed to "The Photo Inn" on her way home from work. The assistant greeted her with a sad smile and regarded her piteously.
"I need to pick up the pictures I asked to be developed," she said after a few moments. "Unless he came and picked them up. I didn't ask."
"He?" the assistant asked, somehow taken aback by the question.
"Yeah, did he pick them up? Or are they still here?"
"But madam, he…"
"Didn't pick them up," another voice interrupted. The manager had walked in, looked furtively at the assistant until he stood back. "He didn't pick them up."
He reached out for the picture envelope and handed it to her. She took them, smiled and started flipping through the first few pictures.
"Oh, they're beautiful," she sighed. "Do you think he will love them?" she absent-mindedly asked.
The manager smiled faintly, looked down at the counter, shook his head and said "I'm sure."
She thanked them and headed home. She threw her keys and the pictures onto the kitchen bar and went straight into the bedroom. The right side of the bed was messy, while the left was tidy and neat. She stood by the doorway and smiled to herself. He's always been the tidy one.
She laid herself onto the bed, looked at the small clock on the night table and picked up the phone. He should have been home at this time of hour. He usually comes home 20 minutes before her; it has always been the only thing that cheers her up; coming home to his warm arms after a long day at work.
She starts fiddling with her engagement ring, hesitating whether to call him or not. Why hesitate now? She'd always turned to him when needed; just to hear his soothing voice. She carefully dialed the numbers and is greeted by the voice mail. It doesn't matter; at least she's hearing his voice requesting to leave a message.
"Hey babe, I just got home. I thought you'd be here by now. Are you tied up in meetings again? I miss you so much; come home soon. I got our vacation photos at Greece! They're beautiful and I'm preparing your favorite meal tonight, so don’t keep me waiting for long…I love you."

The clock struck 10 as she was sitting on the small dining room table. She had set out a table for two; a scrumptious meal set in front of both chairs. She was staring at the clock, tapping her soft fingers on the table and glancing at her ring every 10 minutes. She was waiting…

By 12 she had wrapped the plates and put them in the fridge, ready to microwave them the instant he came home. She grabbed the book she's been reading and headed to bed. Sitting herself comfortably, she started to read while constantly stealing glances at the bedroom door. She was waiting…

An hour later she got up to get a glass of water. She stepped into the living room and noticed she had left a lamp on. That's when she realized somebody sitting on the couch, facing the window. Her heart skipped a beat, how come she didn't hear anyone coming in?
She came closer and recognized him, sitting serenely on the couch, just staring blankly out the window. She gasped and ran by his side, holding him "When did you come in? Why didn't you wake me up? You know I miss you." She held him and started kissing his cheeks, but he didn't respond; he stared ahead. "Sweetie, are you alright?" she asked. "Honey, you're pale and really cold. Is it cold out? Oh you're shivering, let me get you…"
"No!" he croaked as he held her arm tightly, preventing her from getting up. "No, no… it's okay. I'm used to this" he replied hoarsely, as if he hasn't spoken for quite some time.
She smiled and laid on his cold chest, found it strange that he was not holding her back. She looked up at him and he was still staring out blankly.
"Babe, hold me," she told him. "I haven't seen you in a long time; ever since you left, I haven't felt your arms around me. Please hold me."
He held her in one robotic movement, laid his arms around her back, bringing her closer to his cold chest. She on the other hand felt warmer as she whispers, "I've missed this".
She smiled and asked him to play with her hair, but he didn't respond. She asked again but the result was the same.
He finally replies that he doesn't know how.
She got up, confused by his reply and started to tear up. "Well, you take your hand and run it through my hair, like this."
She took his shivering hand and ran it through her wavy brown hair.
"Like this," she demonstrated as he tried his best to learn what she was teaching him. He robotically played with her hair as she couldn't stop her tears from heavily running down her face. She started crying into his arms, finally realized why he didn't know how to do such a simple thing.

She woke up with a loud gasp and looked at the clock; its 2 am. She stared at the side of the bed next to her; it's empty. She raced to the living room, switches on the light; it's also empty.
She ran to the phone, trying to catch her breath and wipe her face and noticed that she's been crying.
"Babe?" she spoke into the phone, leaving a message again and tried to stop crying but failed. "Babe, I really need to talk to you." She stopped to breathe, but couldn't stop sobbing. "I had a strange dream…a bad one. I know you don't believe in this crap, but it felt real…you were there and…you…you were gone…" She cried harder because she couldn't bring herself to admit that he had died in her dream. "You were…gone. And we were sitting on the couch, in each other's arms… God you were so cold and pale, but you were different, you didn't respond normally… you didn't speak… I asked you to hold me tightly because I missed you. I asked you to run your hands through my hair and you couldn't even do that! You didn't understand how to do it! I don't know what you were, but you felt real!"

She tried to speak clearly through her sobbing and crying. "I know you're probably asleep now. It's 6 am there, right?" she sighed thinking of the thousand miles between them now. "Would you call me the minute you get this? I miss your voice…I love you."

She hung up and tried to erase the image of his ghost-like self from her imagination. She turned on her side to sleep. She could still feel his cold hands around her arms, and a voice whispering in her ear; "I love you too".

The Genie-Like Husband!

2009-10-23T17:07:00.004+02:00

Published in euphoria magazine September 2009

When a man and a woman get married they are forced to face reality that marriage life isn’t all the glitz and glamour as they have pictured it. They soon come to realize that they are drowning in responsibility and are independent human beings who no longer go to their “mommy’s and daddy’s” for help. Not to mention the little bits and pieces of personality traits that they both were shocked to find in each other. Little did they know that, a woman doesn’t wake up looking like Angelina Jolie with perfect hair and make-up and man never picks up his clothes off the floor!

When the same man and woman were getting to know each other, they talked about many things to know if they are capable of living under the same roof.
With regards to the fact that this conversation is just words and action is entirely different, they get married anyway. So the man who promised to take her out anywhere she wanted, to bring flowers everyday when he comes home and to travel every weekend, comes home late every night and spends the rest of the evening in front of the TV. And the woman who promised to make their home cozy and comfortable, to cook a lovely meal each night, to look at her best, is too tired from a long day at work to do any of that. You know the story, same old, same old.

The woman grew up as the restricted Middle Eastern girl. Because of the boundaries she has, they give her the illusion that all her dreams will be granted by her future husband. Every time she asks for something as big as traveling on her own, she’ll get the same useless reply “when you get married dear, you can do that with your husband.” Inevitably, the girl starts to think that husbands are like genies that grant all her wishes and bottled up desires! And she starts looking forward to marriage; believing it’s her only way out of this cultural prison. Marriage to her represents having fun, staying out late, trying new things, going to places she wasn’t allowed to go to before and not following rules. So she waits and waits for that day to come where her genie husband will save her.

The man grew up as the free Middle Eastern boy. Because he has no boundaries, he comes and goes as he pleases. He stayed out late and traveled, he’s gone to every place you can think of and might have gone through the experimental phase and tried every possible illegal thing you can name. His only restrictions were to stay in school, get good grades, get a great job and save for marriage. Marriage to him represented a time to settle down after all the wild streaks he’s experienced. Marriage to him meant that he has a “full option” woman waiting at home. The same woman who will eventually pick up his clothes from the floor, cook him great meals, iron his clothes, be a good companion when needed and a perfect bed partner. Marriage is simply a break for him, not an escape but to relax.

They get married and she’s all energized and prepared to travel, go out dancing, dine at the top restaurants, meet friends and stay out late…etc. And he’s prepared to stay at home, watch TV, read a book together perhaps, but not go to these places. Simply because, he’s gone to every single place, he’s traveled all over Egypt; he discovered new people and had a different kind of life before, why does he have to go through this all over again? It’s a been there-done-that-situation. All he wants to do is settle down and while he was living the wild life, she was sitting at home waiting for the day to release her wild side also. Instead of living life together, she spent her youthful and energetic years waiting and waiting while he spent his youthful and energetic years living and living.

Obsessed

2009-10-23T17:06:00.003+02:00

Published in the Anniversary Issue of euphoria magazine August 2009

Every where I go, I have this thing where I literally ransack every magazine that I could get my hands on. Every time I pass by a hyper market, a kiosk or a news stand, I stop and look at the colorful display of magazines. I eventually spend the money that I have on buying those magazines. That was before I discovered cafés! Every time I enter a café, I make sure that I check every magazine they have on display. I like to be updated with what the other people in the magazine industry are doing. I like to know more about my competition and at least figure out who I’m up against. It’s all for the sake of euphoria; I want it to be the best it can be so as long as I’m here working as hard as I can to achieve that. Yet I discovered my magazine mania was long before I came to euphoria back in November 2008. I always had a whole pile at home filling up my bedroom. My car deeply resembled an old man’s kiosk because I filled the backseat with magazines and my trunk was even worse! Whether it was foreign magazines or Egyptian ones, I was obsessed… I still am.

Recently, I was out with my cousins and the moment we entered a café, I literally picked up all the different copies of different magazines and sat down flipping through its pages. One of my cousins brought my obsession to light and as much as I was ashamed to admit that I am really obsessed, he made me realize why I am like this. “It’s not a bad thing by the way. You want to take notice of your competition. It means that work is always on your mind.” He observed. And as I flipped through the pages, I could see how I’m spending my life: working. Though he thinks it’s a good thing, that I’m always focused on my job and that I’m always alert, I think it’s quite pathetic and sad.

I have become not only obsessed with magazines, but a slave to them. I have become a workaholic who literally does nothing but think about article ideas, writing techniques, who we can interview, who can be on the cover, who’s going advertise, which writers should I email, which ideas should I write myself, which client to please… etc. The last two weeks of every month are the most hectic and there are days where I go home pretty late not to mention how you HAVE to have attention for detail to correct each and every letter. It’s even tougher because unlike abroad, we are not an organization working to help maintain a big magazine; we’re just a couple of people. I have missed birthdays or outings and I don’t have time to call people just for the hell of it, or arrange outings, or even see a movie at the theatre. I rarely spend time with family and haven’t gone to a beach for a while. I’ve completely given up chunks of my social life all for work and the fun of it. I’m sure you all relate to this but at the end of the day, I have to wonder: is it all worth it?

I know every job is tough and everybody has his/her brain racked with work and complaining and being pessimistic is all they can do. But thinking on a brighter side is way better than letting yourself down. I still enjoy what I do and I’m grateful that I’m one of the lucky ones who can practice my passion. I’m happy to be here, at least while it lasts!

What's Dead, is Dead!

2009-10-23T16:54:00.002+02:00

Published in euphoria magazine July 2009

On the 25th of June, 2009 Michael Jackson was pronounced dead. He suffered from a heart attack and was rushed to a hospital in Los Angeles, California. The world was left in shock that the King of Pop had passed away. They were in disbelief as many rushed to his home and the hospital to pay their respect. Many celebrity friends paid their tributes and TV shows aired their own tributes to the King non-stop.

I got the news around 3am and I honestly thought it was a publicity stunt. I simply couldn’t believe MJ had died because of his long awaited comeback. I felt that he maybe needed the world to notice him after his hiatus. I felt that he maybe needed to remind the world that he was the one who invented pop music. But why fake his own death? It would seem pretty petty and I realized that no, he did actually die. I was neutral to the news. It was a shame and waste that this legend had passed but his music now remains to remind us. I wasn’t bothered and went by my day normally. Ironically, I felt that he had overshadowed the death of Charlie’s Angel’s Farrah Fawcett who had been battling cancer for years. And as the media prepared to pay her tributes, all was forgotten once the King took his last breath.

I’m not paying tribute to Michael Jackson only as much as I am making a statement to those who don’t leave the dead rest in peace. As soon as the news spread of his death many people started to mourn him all over the world, but what I saw through messages, phone calls, emails and Facebook statuses stunned and aggravated me out of my numb reaction. People were not only being disrespectful but were totally praising his death. How can anyone in his/her right mind praise the death of a human being? And the death of who, a pop star? He’s not an evil figure who brought shame and bloodshed to the world; he only made good music. How can anyone be happy for a man who left his three children orphaned?

No matter whom the person dead, if you don’t care about him/her alive or dead then don’t disrespect their own passing. Don’t be happy about it if you don’t want to mourn and most importantly, don’t mess up their reputation after they’re gone.

We have seen countless stories of that sort; how the media and the people seek to dig up any dirt on a public figure after their passing. Former president Gamal Abdel Nasser was exposed to many things that distorted his image and so was former president Anwar El Sadat, calling them unjust rulers or leaders that have been hiding dirt under their rugs. Soad Hosney, Abdel Halim Hafez and Maralyin Monroe were called many things that I choose not to repeat.

Spreading rumors and possible lies about the dead is foul and low. We need to keep their image the way we have always seen them. The media messes up people’s lives and shows their worst; no one is perfect. Besides, if we didn’t know about anybody’s personal life we wouldn’t hate them. And knowing about a musician or actor’s life is pointless; they only serve to entertain and that’s all that matters.

To me, I don’t care about what is said after the dead no matter how bad they really were. Gamal Abdel Nasser and Anwar El Sadat were great leaders who served their nations bravely and turned Egypt into something better. Soad Hosney and Maralyin Monroe are the leading female icons with their films and Abdel Halim Hafez will always remain “Andaleeb El Arab”.

And Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson will always be the King the pop. I honestly don’t care if his reputation in the last few years was not so perfect, I don’t care if he had many surgeries to get that freakishly looking face of his and I don’t care if his popularity is out of date. MJ remains the talented musician who paved the way for many wannabe artists you listen to today. Without him, none of the Britney Spears and Justin Timberlakes of today would have been interesting or successful. He remains the man who got me interested in music at such a very young age, listening to his amazing hits and watching his creative videos. He remains the man who has become a legend and iconic enough to get you talking about him even if he hadn’t produced anything in such a long time. He remains the man that gave me great childhood memories and if you haven’t heard his music at one point in your life then you really missed out on great music.

The Man Who Sold His Life

2009-10-17T09:43:00.000+02:00

Published in euphoria Magazine June 2009

There are days where we feel totally fed up with our lives that we would give anything to change it. We can get sick of our jobs; get tired of the same hangouts, want to filter out the good friends from the not so good ones and so on.

So we search endlessly for new things in our lives to break the boring routine that's been running in our veins. We go to new places, we try out different types of activities, we meet new people, and we switch jobs and so on. Some even resort to leaving the whole country as means of escape! Some would get hair cuts or buy a new wardrobe or even a new car to feel that their life is not another bland dish you have every morning, while others would totally go to extremes to start entirely from scratch.

We always want change, but how far would we reach till we get this desired change?

I have always admired people who just pick up and leave. They leave all the trivialities behind and move on to better things. I have admired those who lead a sort of hippy lifestyle, those who don't get attached to the simple things.

And then I remembered a man who literally picked up nothing and left to start a new life. Ian Usher, a 44 year-old Briton living in Australia thought of a more innovative way to give his life the change he needed; simply by selling it on "ebay"! I'm sure you've stumbled upon this topic like I have one day while surfing the internet. I was deeply intrigued to find out why in the world somebody would want to sell his own life!

Some might say midlife crises, but he says divorce! Because he had split from his wife who he has known for 12 years, he couldn't take the amount of memories of her everywhere. The solution for him was to get rid of anything that painfully reminded him of his past. So he created his own website: Alife4sale.com where he says "absolutely everything I have, I take nothing with me!" and he actually auctioned his life on ebay!

What was on the shelves for auction was Ian's three-bedroom gorgeous house, his Mazda car, motorbike, Jet Ski, Jacuzzi and even his friends, his job and adrenaline based lifestyle that was filled with activities such as sky diving and kite surfing! Eventually his life was sold to the highest bidder for £192,276!

And where is Ian now? Spending his new found life traveling and making new memories for him with no regrets.

I honestly admire the guts it took to leave everything behind, especially if the life you had was as interesting as he had. Then again, he must have felt empty. What's a life with Jacuzzis and jet skies and no one to share it with? What's a life when you are not satisfied with where you are now?

I wouldn't think many people would try out what Ian did, mainly because deep down we're too terrified at the thought of not having a safety net. The house, the car, the job, that's the safety net that we have been building for years. Why give it up now?

You might also think that you would have it easy to give up the life that was "written for you" and start planning for a new one. Yet how many lives will we plan till we reach the most satisfactory one?

We're not easily pleased as humans and always strive to be better than who we really are. That's alright in some cases but where do you put the limit?

Most of you reading this would want to change your country, your home, your car, your job, your partner that you were planning to break up with, hell even your parents! But won't you ever miss this type of life? Wasn't it YOUR life to begin with? How would it be any different if you bought another one's life for example? As appealing as it may sound, it's not yours to have. You didn't get to where that person is by working at it, but by simply buying it.

If we all started customizing our own life according to our needs and desires, then it would be like we're living in a game where you get to choose how you lead it and who you lead it with. If you're the one planning and choosing every bit of detail, it wouldn't be as fun. You won't be able to talk about anything with the new people you've "invented" over for dinner! It would just be as boring as the previous life.

No matter how long we search, we will still never be satisfied and want more.

Watching Other People Write

2009-10-16T17:14:00.002+02:00

After almost 11 years, I started watching the hit show "Sex and The City". Yes, I'm a late bloomer when it comes to following that show but seeing as it began in 1998 and at then, I was only concerned with "kiddie" stuff due to my young age (no, I will not do the math), I was prevented from watching it.

The show is a classic and discusses the every day problems between a man and a woman. So 11 years later, the same man and woman are finding trouble in sustaining a successful relationship; everybody is still looking for "the one". With disregard to the series' explicit concepts, R rated scenes and dirty dialogues that might seem inappropriate for The Middle East, every couple can relate to their proposed problems; after all, we all love the same and want the same things.

But, I realized something irritating while watching the series, something that also bothered my best friend and fellow writer, Lobna. We spend our time watching Sarah Jessica Parker's character, Carrie Bradshaw, writing her "weekly" column as if it's a simple task, while we fuss over a monthly article that we send after the deadline anyway. Is writing becoming harder and harder for us as we succumb to life's responsibilities?

Carrie Bradshaw wrote every thought on her mind and turned it into a column. While we keep thinking of ideas, but getting busy on our laptops has become a heavy task. I myself have noticed that I'm avoiding writing these days though I have tons of ideas to write about. Instead, I have become too lazy to put my thoughts down on paper. Which results in stress due to my overflowed brain and frustration and boredom due to giving up the ultimate activity in my life.

Ironically, working at a magazine can kill your writing spirit because you spend too much of your time managing it. My way of dealing with this is by literally forcing myself to write at least one article each month.

I won't say it's working out very well and though I also have a monthly column in the magazine, I tend to wait till the very last minute and write it.

Since when writing has been such a burden? How pathetic is it that I call myself a writer and all I do is spend my time watching other people write and enjoy the glories of it?

Food That Sets The Mood

2009-09-28T23:39:00.003+02:00

Published in Convo Magazine April 2009

As the story goes, Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love and Sexuality, rose from the sea on an Oyster. Then, the first aphrodisiac was born!

An aphrodisiac is said to boost your sex drive and performance. In other terms, it's claimed to put you in the mood for intercourse because it arouses your hormones. It could be a certain aroma or taste that eventually triggers your desire and it obviously has a different reaction for men and women. Some foods are rather suggestive though, mainly because of how they look or what it reminds you of (if you're getting my drift). The reason it works because it sends signals to your central nervous system and arouses certain hormones. And in other cases, it's believed to improve your sexual ability.

In the old days, many were concerned with fertility and sexual performance, so they stopped at nothing to discover which types of food helps in igniting the lovers' passion. You would find many stories in lore and folklore that so and so used this type of food to stimulate their desires.

However, it's still hasn't been scientifically proven. According to the FDA (Food and Drug Administration), aphrodisiacs are folklore and not facts. The agency declared that there is no scientific proof that any aphrodisiacs work to treat sexual dysfunction.

Then again, who cares what facts say; there's no harm in having a little fun with your partner. Instead of just creating a romantic dinner with candles and soft music, you can always add any of the items below in your meal. There are hundreds of recipes that feature aphrodisiacs. Who knows? It might actually work for you ;)

The Top Aphrodisiacs

Avocado
It's considered one of the top aphrodisiacs seeing as they contain loads of vitamins that help your "drive". It contains Vitamin B6 and it's claimed that it increases male hormone production. It also contains Potassium which helps the female's thyroid gland regulate.

Asparagus
You might not like it but this small vegetable does wonders! Or so they claim! Asparagus is highly believed to stimulate sex hormones and increase it. It's always recommended, if you're preparing a "special meal", to add Asparagus to your main course.

Almonds
Throughout the ages, almonds have been a symbol of fertility. As tiny as it is, it's believed that its aroma arouses female passion.

Arugula
Belbady keda, asdy el gargeer! Yes! Believe it or not, el gargeer makes the list. In the old days, back in the first century AD Arugula was named an aphrodisiac. These days, it's added to loads of salads and heck, you can even drink a whole jug of it 3nd beta3 el 3aseer!

Bananas
Surprisingly, Bananas have a hand in setting the mood also (and no, it's not just because of how they're shaped). Bananas actually are high in potassium and vitamin B. Both are considered essential for sex hormone production. Researchers say because it contains enzyme bromelain, it enhances male performance.

Berries
Some fruits stimulate because of how their shaped, others stimulate because of their red color! Whether it's raspberries or strawberries, these lovely fruits ignite passion.

Sweet Basil
It's believed to help in boosting fertility and sex drive. It also produces a general sense of well-being for the body and mind.

Caviar
Not so tasty to some people, but this expensive treat is high in zinc, which encourages male performance.

Chili Pepper
Seeing as chili is considered a "hot" type of food, it helps with the arousal process. Chili pepper stimulates nerve endings and raises your pulse. It also releases endorphins, giving your body a natural high.

Chocolate
Need I even explain this one? For centuries, Chocolate has been the food of the lovers. Science believes that it's because chocolate contains a stimulant called Phenyl ethylamine, which gives you a sort of sense of well-being and excitement. Some researchers also believe that it contains other chemicals that affect our neurotransmitters in the brain. Casanova himself used to treat himself to chocolates before any "conquests".

Figs
Let's just say this fruit is on the list because when you open one, it reminds a person of a certain organ. (You figure it out)

Ginger
You can do loads with the Ginger root. It's considered to be a circularity system stimulant which boosts sexual hormones and desires.

Oysters
This is probably the most popular aphrodisiac out there. Oysters are highly rich in protein and zinc, which is a mineral necessary for male testosterone production.

Radish
Our Pharaoh ancestors believed this was an aphrodisiac because of its spiciness.

Truffles
This mushroom-like aphrodisiac is very rare and very high in demand. Truffles are believed to not only arouse the palate but also arouse the body, probably because of their musky aroma. In ancient lore, the groom would drown himself in truffles during the wedding feast to sustain his masculinity.

Vanilla
Its scent and smell is claimed to increase lust.

Meet The Metro-Man: Fashionable But Masculine!

2009-09-06T21:57:00.009+02:00

Published in euphoria magazine July 2009

When you think of a man, the first thing that usually springs to mind is a macho-man, a man who’s buff, strong, rugged and downright manly. And by manly I mean sitting in front the TV with a huge can of soda watching a sports game. He’s the type who rarely cares about his appearance, barely shaves and doesn’t understand color coordination. Then again, why would he? He’s not a woman. However, society begs to differ on the aforementioned image as it is ceasing to exist these days. The stone-age manly man is dying out and the world of “metrosexuals” is taking the world by storm.

Am I a Metrosexual?
To define it first so you can understand this phenomena, a metrosexual is a man who is in touch with his feminine side but is a downright heterosexual (meaning a straight guy attracted to women). Think of some of the Lebanese men who can act too “feminine” but are in fact not gay at all. A man like that takes care of his appearance just like we women do. He can get the best face moisturizers to soften their dry skin, their oily T-bone or to get rid of that acne. He grooms and buffs up his body till he gets that fabulous six-pack. He takes care of his hair, uses the finest conditioners and gets the latest haircuts. He is a fashionable man who knows how to dress well and follows the latest trends. He’s not only into fashion but also a very cultured person; he appreciates literature and art, is a great cook, has an interesting taste in music, has an eye for interior design and enjoys reading men’s magazines. Moreover, he understands the ladies and knows how to impress them which makes many of the other “manly” men ultimately jealous!

Metrosexuals first appeared in Britain and the term “metrosexual” was first coined by Mark Simpson, a British social columnist. Openly gay, Simpson coined the term in an article and from then on, the world wanted to recognize this phenomena and metro-men wanted to come out. He says in an article entitled “Meet the Metrosexual” that the metrosexual man is” the single young man with a high disposable income, living or working in the city (because that’s where all the best shops are), is perhaps the most promising consumer market of the decade. In the Eighties he was only to be found inside fashion magazines such as “GQ”, in television advertisements for Levis jeans or in gay bars. In the Nineties, he’s everywhere and he’s going shopping.”

Should I Be Worried About My Sexuality?
If you found you do the same as the abovementioned traits, then you are definitely a metrosexual. However, it doesn’t mean that you are homosexual or gay. Being a wellgroomed male or in touch with yourself has nothing to do with your sexuality but more of a personality trait. You focus all your energy on yourself so it has no relation to sexual attraction of the same sex. You simply like to be beautiful and take care of yourself, there’s nothing wrong with that. As Mark Simpson puts it: “Desire in the metrosexual has been irretrievably loosened, from reproduction and gender and reattached to commercial signs, adverts, images, icons and brands.”

Moreover, being called a metrosexual doesn’t mean you’re gay, but it means that you are a sensitive, chic and cultured man.

Cosumerism Fuels the Metro-Man
At that time, Simpson was only chronicling a new male prototype that he saw slowly emerging from society. The term has been used several times before by fashion companies as a marketing strategy: give people an identity to strive for and they will buy anything associated with it.

From his article in Salon.com, Simpson says “old-fashioned, repressed, unmoisturized masculinity was being given the pink slip by consumer capitalism. The stoic, self-denying, modest straight male didn’t shop enough -- his role was to earn money for his wife to spend -- so he had to be replaced by a new kind of man, one less certain of his identity and much more interested in his image”

Ironically, Mark Simpson planned to mock and satirize what marketers stand for and what they are sneakily doing to get men into fashion. Simpson believed that marketers were diminishing the traditional man and forcing consumerism on them. Men rarely ever go shopping, buy glossy magazines or use grooming products at all. Their solution was to promote the sensitive man and make it sound cool to sell their products. They promoted an image that freely went to malls, buys fashionable clothes, uses the latest grooming products and buys men’s magazines; a man who’s every advertiser’s dream.

The Rising of the Metrosexuals
Nowadays, many men are more comfortable with shopping themselves and following the top fashion labels created solely for men. And those fashion labels and glossy magazines are sure expanding into must haves. There are more fashion/lifestyle magazines directed at men than ever before and they are making their way into Egypt as well as the rest of the Arab world. The existing magazines are also creating segments for men about a guy’s guide to grooming and dressing fashionable. They are under pressure more than before to look their best and they have become more willing to experiment with grooming products, not to mention going under the knife. Statistics have shown that an average male often goes into surgery in Lebanon and some other Arab countries to enhance their features.

The media has also created poster boys for such a pursuit, eyeing the top male celebrities to ensure that the image of this metrosexual man surely sinks in. Many of today's top metrosexuals include David Beckham, Ryan Seacrest, Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Hugh Jackman.

Falling for Two

2009-09-06T00:10:00.005+02:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine August 2009

She thought this was it: her heart had chosen the one. Her heart had already fallen for her soul mate and no man could earn her attention. Until the new guy at her department at work came along and a whole new meaning to passion was introduced to her. Was it love? Was it a simple crush? Or was it her way of escaping commitment by falling for another man?

Falling for two people at the same time is a tale we often see in the movies or soap operas. One story that you might be familiar with is the love triangle on the hit TV serial "LOST". You have Kate, the rebellious and heroic girl, Jack, the righteous doctor and Sawyer, the slick con man. Both have been in an in-and-out relationship with Kate and it's obvious that she's in love with both. But would it ever happen in real life, is it even possible?

As far as we all know, falling in love can only happen once and at only one stage of our lives, meaning that we can never fall in love with two people at the same time. But we can never be sure about this notion as it might have been established to forbid falling for two and instead call it emotionally cheating, deceiving and betraying the person you are with. On the other hand, others wouldn't even call it falling "in love" but call it a strong and loving friendship or a platonic relationship or loving that person like any human being or even lust.

However, times have changed and so did people and their emotions. There are many reasons why you could fall in love with two at the same time. You might have fallen for that other guy/girl because your current partner isn't giving you all the love you need. John Gray, author of "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" explains that we have certain needs when it comes to love in his latest book "How to Get What You Want and Want What You have". He explains them in a basic from by comparing our heart to a love tank, divided into 10 tanks, each form of love we aspire. The sixth tank is for the relationships, partnerships, and romance – "To fill up this love tank, you need to make sure you are sharing yourself with someone - you depend on that person and they depend on you - There needs to be loving give and take. Relationships cannot be healthy if there is only one person giving and the other is taking. Soulmates are not perfect but they are perfect for you as partners."

Once you feel that this tank is missing, you're obviously looking for it somewhere else while keeping the same partner around. If we go back to the Kate/Jack/ Sawyer love triangle, we find that Kate is probably attracted to Jack because he's more reliable than Sawyer, whereas Sawyer appeals to her "wild side". In other words, falling for two won't be a contradictory thing, but more complimentary.

If you feel that you have fallen in love for another man/woman and are obviously uneasy about it you should take time to think if this is this really love or simple admiration for the person? You might only want to hang out with him/her but are not in love? That's fine on all occasions only if you don't feel guilty about it. If it is love and you're absolutely sure of it, then you have no choice than to choose one of them. No one likes to "share" their partner. Be honest with your partner, show him/her what you need and he/she can work on it. Give them a chance before choosing and lay out all the pros and cons (only for you and not for them to see) of each person relating to how you feel about them.

In the end, don't feel guilty about it and search for the main reason of these feelings. It might just be a phase….

Let's Talk About Money!

2009-09-05T23:59:00.003+02:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine July 2009

One of the many promises a couple should make to each other is that they would stick by each other through thick and thin and for richer or poorer. Every couple should support one another with everything they need. A couple should always have to share all they have; their love, their generosity, their belongings, their time…etc. They key words here are "share everything" even if it means with their own finances.

Money Woes
When I think about money problems, I remember this couple from the book-turned-film "The Joy Luck Club". The man was so too fair and cheap at times that he split everything down to the middle! On their first date, he had a three-course dinner while she had a salad, instead of them paying for each, he let her pay half. After they got married, he kept a list of things she bought and things he bought for her so each can pay for their own stuff! Let's just say that she wasn't a happy wife. Many couples have broken up because they failed to communicate their need for money. We have heard the numerous stories regarding why a couple has split. It's either a story of how he's too cheap and rarely spent money on their home, or how he depended on her income way too much and not his own, or how he walked out because she was too demanding and materialistic, or how she has shared every single penny with him and the second he made a man of himself he ungratefully "dined and dashed" with some other woman. The stories are endless!

Money Talks!
If you are in fact like the couples mentioned above than you haven't had an honest chat about money before you got married. It's imperative to discuss it beforehand in order to prevent delving into marital problems. However, pick your timing and choose your words wisely you don't need to appear greedy or cheap. The first step is to try to figure out how you both feel about money, what your financial goals are, what material things are important to you (house, car, yearly vacations) and what you can live without. Since money is a sensitive subject, most couples these days avoid it. However, if you acquire the necessary communication skills between your partner to discuss such a matter, it would be totally useful. After all, if you discovered that both of you have different "money personalities" in the beginning, then you saved one hectic marriage!

Is There a Limit to Sharing?
One of the many questions on a couples mind is whether finances should be separate in a marriage? That's a question that wouldn't require a yes or no but more of an "it depends". Khloud, 28 thinks it depends on the man. "If he's the type to make a big deal about money and sharing it or eyeing her share, then she shouldn't share her entire savings with him". Some guys are traditionalists and wouldn't allow the wife to share that much unless it was necessary. While other open minded and modern guys are okay to the idea that he pitches in with a certain amount and so does she, sometimes less than his amount. Ahmed, 26 thinks that "a couple already shares everything, money is included also." So does Dina, 23 who believes that if they don't then "It only demonstrates mutual distrust - an unhealthy basis for any relationship".

On the other hand, Amy, 26 thinks that couples should share to a certain extant. "You should never place your whole savings in their hands. What if they decide to suddenly elope with their 22-year-old assistant? If that happens, you'll loose your emotional security; don't make things worse by losing your financial security too!"

In the end, it is up to you, your partner and how you handle your finances. If you want to be more careful you can split your income, adding a part into your house while the rest saved up for you in case. But choosing to separate everything entirely would be one messy financial situation not to mention a relationship blunder!

When to Call it Quits!

2009-09-05T23:52:00.007+02:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine 2009

Upon thinking of relationship dilemmas, I would remember a certain episode of "Friends" when Chandler, who already has relationship trouble, started dating Monica. They had a silly argument over something and weren't talking for a while. He later came up to confirm that this was the end of their short-lived relationship together only to be rebuked by her. She claimed that not after every fight a couple drifts; which is what he has been doing all those years.

We see a lot of early Monicas and Chandlers but while the TV couple manages to work on their relationship, some real-life ones rarely don’t.

There are a lot of reasons that you can definitely walk out on your partner from, but there are reasons that are just too trivial and manageable to give up on. A simple fight won't do; it has to be something major like the top two: infidelity and abuse. If you are unfortunately facing either on-going physical or emotional abuse from your partner or spouse then you simply walk out with no looking back. Abuse is a serious matter everywhere; if your partner can't handle their temper enough to care about hurting you, then you are simply wasting your time.

However, you may find opposite poles when it comes to infidelity. If that partner did in fact cheat and they confessed or were caught it's really up to you to decide, depending on their reasons, if you should forgive them or not. Yet, if it's an early relationship out of marriage, you should definitely leave. On the other hand, if it's a marriage with kids, you have to consider how that will affect your life. Some partners have forgiven one another seeing as it’s a one time thing, while others couldn't bear the thought of having shared their partner with someone else. But, think about it hard and clear, if that person did it once, they can do it again. "You did it once, shame on you. You did it twice, shame on me".

Other reasons that you can quit on your partner:
- Lack of communication: many couples just run out of things to say. They also have a problem of not listening to each other or paying attention or even understanding one another which occasionally causes more arguments.
- Having different values: there should be a threshold upon which both of you lay your beliefs on. Having entirely different opinions would cause you to clash. It would be rare to adopt each other's beliefs and don't rely on people changing, when you grow old together, you'll start noticing just how much different you are.
- No respect: It's how they see you in their eyes; if they don't respect you then it's just as close to not caring about your needs because they would always look down on you.
- A Cheap: A person who doesn't like to "spend" on their partner or calculates everything that goes out of their wallet will never be generous with their feelings either.
- A Control Freak: there's a certain amount of control that can be tolerated. But when it goes over board whether because of jealousy, protectiveness or simply exercising their manliness or even womanhood that becomes unbearable you can't even breathe.
- A Pathological Liar: It doesn’t even need to be explained, if your partner lies all the time you will always live in doubt and resort to spying. It eventually leads to lack of trust.

No matter how and why you decide to break up, you need to be a 100% sure about this decision, especially if it's divorce. Keep in mind that the simplest or most complex problems can be healed, don't give up easily, always work on finding a solution and choose separation as the last step.

Equality is Overrated

2009-07-13T00:07:00.004+03:00

Published in He Said She Said Magazine May 2009

Beyonce's latest hit "If I were a boy…" had almost every girl I know, including me, nod her head in agreement with the message that lies behind the music. The way Beyonce put it; she believed that if she were a boy, she would be a better man because she knows how much it hurts. She would know how to love a girl and listen to her and not take her for granted and she goes on and on explaining that she would be a better guy than any of the existent ones. But how would she be a better man if all she knows is how to be a girl?

I find it weird that a lot of girls, also including me, would wish to be guys. It comes at a spur of the moment, but I doubt that we really want to be them. I know that if I ever were a boy, I would take complete advantage of it, but would I know how to treat a girl for example or be a better man? Come to think of it, if I were a boy from the beginning, I would be the same as the rest of the guys we meet; either we're jerks or we're the nice guy. It would be an endless and inevitable cycle; no gender has a hand in changing it. I sometimes find the idea of wanting to be a boy, the supposed dominating gender, is rather insulting and shows a lack of ambition. Why can't I be a better woman instead of like the millions of men out there?

In a world where the battle of the sexes would never cease to exist, the word equality has emerged and it was as close as women could get to being men. Forget sexism and feminism or any gender politics, I'm here to bluntly admit that I don't believe in equality. Coming from me and I bet all the ladies in the unspoken sisterhood would want me hanged; it is shocking to admit that despite this, I'm still a feminist. I'm a feminist who wouldn't want to be equal with men, but would want the same respect they get. I wouldn't want to live their lives or do the things they do because I know that we were created differently for certain reasons. Regarding men as strong doesn't mean that women are weak; it just means that they can handle something while we can handle an entirely different thing. Besides, it's believed that women have a higher threshold for pain than men (like with pregnancy and childbirth).

I never thought that men have it cut out for them on a silver platter because they suffer in life just as much as we do. Men have to get the perfect college degree to get the prestigious job to get the fabulous woman to get the lavish house and the futuristic car to get the lovely three kids all enrolled into private school. It's the ideal life I must add, but you can't fail to mention the military service that they have to go through, and the bending over backwards to please demanding parents, and the late nights to get the food on the table. It's more of a huge responsibility.

With women, we get a choice! We can actually stay home and play housewife if we want to! But for women who choose careers, like me and many others, it's becoming harder and harder each day, we get to endure the agony of pregnancy and giving birth and because of feminists, we not only have a home to take care of and a child to raise, we also have a career to build, which is 10 times tougher when attempting to squeeze all of that in a 24 hour day.

So no, I don't believe in equality, women have enough to deal with already and being a man isn't that all too perfect. Everything has its ups and downs, so I might as well accept mine and embrace being my own gender.

Being Nice Blows!

2009-05-13T16:43:00.002+03:00

I have been perceived as a nice person…sometimes that is, or so they say. But I, like everyone else, has their own limits and buttons that would drive a person over the edge. My little brother has always joked about how I should get Anger Management! (True story) but I don't think I'm the problem… It's people!

There was this one part in "Tuesdays with Morrie" that concerns me at the moment. Morrie, a man on his death bed, was teaching Mitch, his student, some lessons. One of which was about putting your own energy into people. Morrie gives an example by smiling a lot to people. Obviously smiling is contagious, so they will be forced to smile also. "Do you know what I do? When someone wants to get ahead of me in traffic, I would raise my hand, as if I was going to make a negative gesture and then I would wave and smile. Instead of giving them the finger, you let them go, and you smile.
You know what? A lot of times, they smile back."

The funny thing is I would never do that because traffic frustrates me more than anything else. I'm a girl driver who drives a small Picanto. it's a double curse basically as every driver on earth thinks they own the street! Every driver in a BMW or Mercedes thinks they can kick the little poor green Picanto off the road because it doesn't deserve to drive next to them. My only way was to show them that I can drive better and I have my ways to piss them off if they ever decided to cut me off. But it never got me anywhere, it gave me a small ounce of satisfaction that lasted for two minutes and got me angrier. I had to try Morrie's theory.

I thought if every Egyptian listened to Morrie, our traffic situation would cease to exist. People would be friendlier and more helpful. They would be nicer, realizing that they are all the same and going through the same shit every single day. It would obviously make our days a lot better. And I thought that I should try to implement this, be nicer that before and smile a lot; maybe it would help.

Boy was I wrong! You forget how rude people are infesting every single corner in the streets of Egypt.

It happened to me twice; I double park and I know it's wrong but there's something I need to get from the store nearby, an errand that will take exactly 15 minutes. I come back, 15 minutes later to find a young man with his wife looking furious at me. I smile, apologize deeply and explain that I just had to run to the store. He barely listens and starts rudely explaining how he's been standing there for 30 minutes waiting (I went away for exactly 15 minutes) so he's exaggerating slightly. I smile, and say no Sir, I was away for 15 minutes and I'll take the car out right now and apologize AGAIN. His voice gets louder and he even becomes ruder. My friends, who were with me at the time, calm him down and say it's fine nothing happened. But no, he insists on yelling and all I want to do is say respect the women you're with and don't be an ass! I refrain from that but I yell back that's it's done!

I still yelled, and the smiling didn't work. I'll try better next time, I convince myself.

Early this afternoon, I arrived late to work so I couldn't find a decent parking space. I circled the block after what seemed the 100th time, but no luck. So I double parked again (I never learn) and left the car behind three other double parked cars with the brakes down so they can move it if someone wants to move their own cars. I was planning to go back an hour later to check for another parking space but I got caught up at work. The doorman later calls me an hour later to ask me to move my car. I go down quickly and find a woman standing. Oh it's a woman, I thought, I'm sure she'll understand, they always do. I go and unlock my car door with the biggest smile I can muster on an already bad day, apologize sincerely and get into my car. She doesn't flinch, how come she's not smiling back with an "It's okay, dear but next time pay attention"? No, she goes into a yelling fit about how she's been honking like crazy and I should have came down. I reply – with the same big fat smile – that I'm on the 8th floor and it would have been impossible to know that these honks were intended for me (and since when honks call out people's name?!). Her voice gets even higher about what if she was in a rush and how she's been standing there for half an hour and it goes on and on even though I slam my door so I wouldn't listen and get mad. Keep smiling, I say, don't blow up, I say. Then she says that I should have put the breaks down. I roll my windows down, big mistake. And I calmly say that I did in fact put my breaks down and there is no need for this yelling, I apologized AGAIN and what's done is done. But oh no, women have a way of pissing off their own kin! She yells even more about how three men came and pushed the car but couldn't and about other stuff I couldn't quite get because, unfortunately and as fate would have it, I blew up right in her face. Instead of smiling I kept yelling that what's done is done, no need for problems, I already apologized. I drove off as she yelled back about how I'm disrespectful… me… the person who smiled and apologized…but blew her temper because of people.

People aren't rude naturally; other people turn them this way. So I'm still in a dilemma, should I give this another try, or respond the same way I'm treated. After all, being nice rarely gets you anything these days!